concert in a snowstorm.

minnesota has been what seems to be unseasonably snow-y and cold so far this winter. being hearty minnesotans, however, we never let it get us down! especially when it comes to social events.
a few weeks back minnesota got it's first huge snowfall of the year, the same night that those south carolina boys in needtobreathe were playing in my city! well i wasn't gonna let a few (6 inches!) flakes stop me from going to the show....i bundled up, threw the jeep into 4-wheel and made it to the show to catch green river ordinance and bear and the gang. apparently none of the rest of the city was going to let the snow stop them either, the place was packed.
i met up with some friends who got there before me and snagged some great spots right behind the sound board. we ended up standing next to some obnoxious drunk people who managed to spill a full cup of beer down the leg of one of my friends and then never apologized but other than that the night was absolutely magical.
needtobreathe is fantastic live, if you ever get the chance to check out one of their shows you most definitely should! their songs something beautiful, washed by the water and let us love brought down the house with pure southern rock, no fancy pyrotechnics or gimmicks needed. they jammed onstage, we jammed in our puddle of beer. my favorite part of the night, however, was the encore. the whole band came out and played an entirely acoustic song. there was no amplification whatsoever. bear even told some loud, drunk chump in the audience to "just shut up for a minute" so everyone could hear. i almost started crying halfway through the song, it was that great. the only thing that stopped me was the fact that i didn't want to mess up my eye-liner. i am so vain.
after the show ended i darted over to club 3 to work the toby mac after-party. i ended up touching toddie funk's butt, with permission. but that's a story for another day.
xo

i am a wuss.

one of my biggest pet peeves is when shows are cancelled. another pet peeve is when i wuss out. both of these things happened in one night in the not too distant past.
i already knew that swimming with dolphins had dropped off the abandon kansas show but i was determined to make it a fabulous night because abandon kansas is kind of fabulous, even if austin tofte wasn't going to serenade me.
so a group of us piled into some cars, went to buffalo wild wings, i got a call from one of my besties (it's worth mentioning because i really hate talking on the phone but i heart this boy so it was worth chatting for a few), ate some delicious fried cheese (aka mozerella sticks), and then scooted on over to the show.
we arrived near the end of the first act. they weren't that good. i think the second act was okay but to be perfectly honest i completely lost interest in the show because who should walk in but love-of-my-life-austin. i grabbed my roommate's arm so hard that i think i hurt her, she literally said, "ouch!" i was distracted the entire show. an inner war raged within me, do i talk to him and reveal myself as the girl who sent him a facebook message after seeing him on the street or do i let him walk out of my life forever?
i wussed out. didn't talk to him. never made eye contact. he left. now we'll never get married.
have i ever mentioned that i'm a bit of a drama queen?
xo
ps. abandon kansas killed it.

honesty day.

it started as a night selling merch for hawk nelson, it ended up being a share-fest with me, a roommate and a boy i barely know.
hawk nelson brought their "fly me to the show" tour through minneapolis and of course i was hanging out behind the merch table.
since my roommate and i were the most "experienced" merch people there that night, we got the headliners. it was great because not only is that generally the busiest table but hawk's road manager/traveling merch man, adam, is awesome. he's seriously hilarious and used to play keys for falling up (so that immediately made this girl a little star-struck). so adam gave us the run down of the merch, headed backstage and the show started.
we were having a great time and adam kept checking back to make sure everything was going okay and each time would chat for a bit before leaving again. during one of these random talks my roommate, we'll call her jenessa, blatantly stated that she really didn't like hawk nelson as a band and thus began, "honesty day". thanks j-ness for your unabashed honesty and kicking that whole night of randomness off.
it started off talking about music...then we moved to hipsters. we realized the definition of hipster is, in fact, portland. now i'm not necessarily a hipster but i do appreciate a checkered shirt and i own a pair of fake glasses. that's as far as i go. but i wasn't about to tell that since they all seemed a little anti-hipster.
then adam shared some interesting news about a former falling up member....one i happened to think i was going to marry and adopt beautiful children with. well when said boy split and made his own side project he didn't commit as much as he could have and gave up...even though he could have been great with a little effort. so instead he married adam's best friend. it's like a soap opera i tell ya!
honesty day ended with me telling both jenessa and adam that my underwear were falling off. it's a long story and there was no way to hike them up so i was stuck. thank the Lord i wasn't in a dress this time.
honesty day was a complete success.
xo

"there's thunder in the forecast"

my entire family digs music. while we don't all listen to the same type of music generally there is one group we all agree on, celtic thunder. i know, i know, sounds a little cheesy but who doesn't love 5 irish guys singing, dancing and looking painfully attractive in kilts?
my parents decided to get us early christmas presents and got my entire family (minus my sister, cause she lives sooooo far away- boo) tickets to see our collectively favorite group! stoked. we all have favorites in the band and mine happens to be the 20-something surfer boy with golden hair and crooked grin. his name is keith harkin and his song the island is so phenomenally good that i have to play it at least 3 times whenever i listen to it.
since this post could be pages and pages long i will bullet-point why the celtic thunder show was so epic:
* they have tasty accents
* they can all sing...and i mean sing
* they can sing spiritual songs in a secular setting and no one questions it because they are irish so they all must be catholic, right?
* their u2 cover brought down the house
* i'm ashamed to admit this but i really enjoy synchronized dancing
* i was with my beautiful family
* i wore a great lbd
* the state theater in minneapolis is a gorgeous venue
* during the song "hallelujah" there was a guy in a wheelchair with his arms raised the entire song. his outright praise was moving. i watched him more during that song than the guys singing.
* keith harkin. yum.
the end.
xo

welcome to the masquerade.

a few weeks back i was able to work thousand foot krutch's merch table when they passed through the cities. tara and i were pretty much all-stars and got everything counted down before tom (the guy who travels with tfk) even made it back to the table. he was mad impressed and half-jokingly said, "see you guys tomorrow" - tfk was playing a show in a town about two and a half hours away. we laughed and said, "haha, yeah sure." then we went and ate the best chips and pico di gallo i've ever eaten.
while we were stuffing our faces with salty, crunchy goodness we got to talking and realized none of us had plans for the next day. so we decided that a mini-road trip was in order.
so on sunday afternoon we piled into a car for the trip up to central minnesota. we stopped at a gas station for tara to use the restroom. then had to stop again about 50 miles later for another bathroom stop, she apparently has a tiny bladder. however, on our second pit stop we found a gem. a big ol' paul bunyan statue! perfect picture op. so after a few fantastic pictures we finished the trek up to the show.
when we arrived we, of course, walked around the building in the wrong direction to find the door to get in. it took us like 20 minutes to find the correct door and we got to the merch table mere minutes before the doors opened. we were greeted with a hearty, "i can't believe you guys actually came!" from tom followed by him running to get us food from backstage and thanking us over and over.

i love free food and as an added bonus: we could actually see the show at this venue! so we rocked out to ivoryline, disciple and thousand foot krutch and sold merch like it was going out of style. tom told us (me and tara) that we were the official tfk merch girls whenever they played a show within 3 hours of the cities! yay!

on the way home we went through an arby's drive through and the next morning i woke up way too early for going to bed so late and had lead gut from the fried food. i felt like a rock star.
xo

marry me.

i'm sure because of the title of this post one would assume that i am again professing my love for some random rock star (i realize i do this so often it's probably unhealthy) in hopes that he would reciprocate the feeling and we would live happily ever after. not so. this is the story of of a song.
i was driving along after work on my way to the grocery store when the radio dj announced the next song was train's new single, "marry me." the song opens with an acoustic guitar and pat monahan's vocals. that's it.
the song grabbed me. it struck a nerve and i don't even know why. maybe it's the simplicity of the song? maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me? maybe it's the fact that i want the story in the song to be my story? whatever the reason was i adored the song at first listen. it was a heart-stopping, eyes brimming with tears, drown-out-everything-but-the-song first listen that warmed my heart and reminded me what it means to fall in love with music all over again.
someday i will wear white and he'll wear out the words "i love you" and "you're beautiful."
xo

walking with austin. sorta.

one of my favorite things to do is going on walks. i love them, you can be outside, it's exercise (kinda) and you don't get all sweaty like you do if you run. so one night after i was done working at the coffee shop i decided to go on a walk because it was gorgeous out and i had been trapped inside al day. the roommates were all gone so i ventured out by myself. i decided to walk to the lake since there is always a ton of people around and i very much enjoy people-watching. so i'm truckin' along, singing to myself, enjoying the gorgeous evening when i look up and see austin tofte walking down the street with a couple of other fellows! that's right, the brainchild behind swimming with dolphins. i had an inner freak-out session and decided against mobbing him. remember how i can't really control what comes out of my mouth when in the presence of beautiful men who make music? yeah, i think it was a wise choice.
so i finished my walk, all the while freaking out via text to a friend, and eventually ended up back at my place. now i apparently have no self-control and just couldn't leave well enough alone. i wrote mr. tofte a facebook message telling him that i had seen him on the street and i didn't want to be one of "those" fans but i very much appreciate his music and just wanted him to know that. seriously, what possess me to do these things?!
he was kind enough to write back and said that if i ever saw him on the street again that i should most definitely come up and say hello and to keep in touch. what a gem.

pretty sure he wrote these lyrics for me:
i'll be up in the stars
but i'll be anywhere you are
just say you need me and i'll come down

or maybe not.
xo

the boys are back in town.

merch table story #5 perhaps? i dunno.
the night wasn't off to a great start. i was late (lost track of time talking to my dear mother on the phone), had to pay for parking (my free parking place is no longer free-grrr), and my hair looked like death. neat-o. but i was working remedy drives merch table so all of those negatives were looking up once i got to the show.
i've seen remedy drive a bunch and may have been just a little obsessed with them about 2 and a half years ago. but it's okay, i went to RDA (remedy drive anonymous) and am in my 12th stage of recovery and am now just your average fan who catches a show whenever she can.
so i got to the venue and was filled in on prices just as the doors were opening. fans came, a lot browsed, a few bought and then the show started. there were 5 bands total and remedy drive was last since they were headlining. it was fabulous. i was impressed with the bands i hadn't seen before and remedy drive always puts on a great show.
once the encore was finished and most of the attendees had cleared the building it was time to start packing up the merchandise. so allison and i started counting shirts and tearing down the backdrop when paul and philip came over to help. at one point philip started singing/beat boxing and a little dance party broke out. i've always embraced my white girlness and my dancing shows it. philip mocked me. then we got talking about europe (they had just been there, i was there summer of '07) and paul mentioned that he spent a day in paris and i asked, "did you like paris?" (a little disgustedly, i didn't like paris). philip mocked me. then i asked what other countries they had been in and did some stupid little hand gesture (i'm a hand-talker) and philip mocked me. i looked at him and said, "wow, you are hating all over me tonight." he chuckled and said, "not hating, appreciating." sure sure. so we finished loading stuff and i went to chat with some other people.
as i was leaving the club, my job done, philip was outside on his phone. i gave a little wave and was about to walk off when he asked if i was leaving for the night. um, yeah, that's why i waved. he told whoever he was on the phone with to hold on for a second and then gave me a hug and said it was great seeing me again. i whole heartedly agreed that it was great seeing him again and wished him luck on the rest of their tour. he saluted me.
oh philip, if you and that gorgeous girlfriend of yours ever decide to call it quits, this girl will gladly take an alphabet drop for you.
xo

a pondering.

another lifelight 2010 story for you....
i was talking to matt (lead singer of the wedding) after their show and we got discussing pranks. apparently those boys in the wedding like to cause a little mischief every now and again (think borrowing golf carts without permission or pelting the audience with water balloons) at different summer festivals. however, they decided not to do anything at lifelight and this is the reason why: lifelight is good to them. apparently a lot of the other summer festivals aren't so nice to them as a band and lifelight has always been stellar to them.
now i'm not saying that it's right for them to "borrow" golf carts but it's also not right of the festivals to treat the artists poorly. i mean, without the artists there would be no festival, without festivals a lot of artists would have a lot tougher go of it. they go hand-in-hand. i'm sure there is a lot of stress on festival promoters/directors/booking agents/etc. but i find it incredibly sad when they don't treat the bands very Christ-like. when they forget the big picture of the festival, the ministry and music of it all, and get caught up in unnecessary details. likewise, it's sad when bands don't feel like they need to respect the festival because they feel like they've been slighted.
i applaud the boys in the wedding for not causing any mischief at lifelight because they didn't want to hurt or anger the people who had been so good to them. i applaud lifelight for being so great to their artists. i think we can all learn a little lesson from the wedding, lifelight, that fabulous movie, high school musical, "we're all in this together."
xo

fashion rocks.

as i've said before, i love clothes. one day in church i got a wild hair that i could combine some of my favorite things and try to make a difference in this world. so i am excited to announce that my apparel line, heartsbeatlove, is officially online and for sale!
my goal is to have profits from the shirt sales go to a non-profit doing their part to make the world a better place. for the first line i've chosen NightLight to highlight and give money to. they are based out of l.a., atlanta, and bangkok and are working hard to stop human traffiking while spreading the message of hope. i truly admire the work they are doing and the souls they are rescuing!
please visit: heartsbeatlove.bigcartel.com and pick up a shirt!
please also: check out heartsbeatlove on facebook, myspace or shoutlife and be a friend, a fan or whatever the site calls it :)
xo

15,000. no lie.

so it seems as though my summer has been filled with "chance of a lifetime" opportunities and i was completely stoked when another one came my way this past weekend. there was a little festival called lifelight happening in the town of sioux falls, sd. i say 'little' but it's really not so little. lifelight is one of the few free christian music festivals in the country and attracts crowds of thousands! it's an amazing three days of music and ministry.
i know some wonderful people at an organization called shoutlife.com (a fresh approach to social networking- holla!) who were gracious enough to let me do a couple of stage spots to promote shoutlife! from main stage. the first one was on friday, it went great! did a little plug, threw out a couple shirts, one kid (of about the 100 or so that were in the audience) recognized me later and asked to take a picture with me, fun times!
the second one though, this one really takes the cake. it was a bit more of a prime time so i knew there would be a few more people there but we'd already done it once, how intimidating could it be? well let me just tell you, our time to talk was directly after those fabulous fellas from family force 5. that's right kids, we ran on stage right as family force 5 was running off stage. pretty sure i got some of fatty's sweat on me. the crowd was ENORMOUS. there were at least 15,000 people there and they were all looking at me and amanda. oh-my-lanta. and as if that wasn't enough, i was a bit stupid and wore a dress that day, and it was windy! i mean, it's south dakota, i think it's always windy. so not only did i have the piercing gaze of thousands of eyes on me, i was worried that a strong gust was going to kick up my dress and expose my pink undies to the world.
amanda did her ditty about refuge radio and handed the mic to me....i was on and all i could think was, "you'd better rock this or you're going to look like a big loser." thankfully, Jesus helped me out and i got all the right words out, got the crowd to make a little noise for the backstage meet and greet passes we were giving away and the wind behaved so no one saw my underpants. what a frickin' rush! both me and amanda were shaking and laughing from adrenaline as we ran off stage. we probably looked like total goobers but hey, we were just on the jumbo-tron! larger than life, baby!
xo

live on air.

exciting news....this girl right here is going to have her very own radio show!! the college that i work at has a very small radio station and i get to have my very own show over the dinner hour 3-4 nights a week (depending on my schedule)! the beauty of this is this: at the moment the station is streamed purely online, this means that anyone can listen- including you!!
i'm thrilled over this opportunity and i love the chance to try something new that may be something i'd want to do more than just dabble in :) it also gives me the opportunity to get new Christian music into the ears of everyone on-campus...and anyone else who may choose to listen, haha! i mean, i'm sure michael w. smith is a great dude and who doesn't love a little old school audio adrenaline every now and again but there is some in-frickin'-credible music out there that deserves to be played.
xo
p.s. if anyone has a fantastic idea for a radio segment please let me know!
p.s.s. goodbye summer, hello fall.

midnight text.

my friends, they know me. they know me well. i have a friend, zachary. he's a cool kid. seriously, he's one of those really cool people who isn't even trying to be cool, he just is. he lives in east nashville in a dirty community house, rides a moped, has a rat-tail, wears suspenders with skinny jeans, loves jesus and has a laugh that makes you laugh just hearing it. his biggest downfall (in my humble opinion) is that he hates the christian music scene. even though he knows a decent amount of the people in the christian music scene. we've had many a "discussion" about this. so imagine my surprise when late one night i enter into this text conversation (this may not be verbatim but it's close) :
zachary: so i'm at the bar and guess who's sitting next to me?
me: who?!
zachary: your boy matt theissen
me: oh my goodness! talk to him for me!
zachary: what?! and say what?
me: tell him you know a girl who would marry him.
zachary: no
me: okay, tell him you know a girl who would love to be his date to the doves
zachary: again, no
me: well say something!
zachary: he's with some girl
me: hurry, my window of opportunity is closing
zachary: i'm not going to say anything to him
me: you suck
zachary: haha.
honestly, why would he tease me like that?! it's just so rude. next time i'm in nashy me and zachary are going musician hunting. i mean, he owes me, really. i could be mrs. theissen right now if he hadn't screwed everything up ;)
xo

let's be real with one another.

this here is a song penned by yours truly. a couple of warnings: 1) it's crappy, at best. 2) don't get me wrong, i love the Church. this was born out of frustration, my own and the frustration of a friend of mine. here goes nothing:

you all think i'm perfect
a little game that we play
you ask how i am, i say "i'm okay"

at the door secrets are checked
i say the right thing, wear the right dress
underneath it all i'm completely a mess

*the bones in my closet try to break free
if they do will you still accept me?
your eyes see only what they want to see
being real is the scariest place to be*

smiles plastered on faces
with open arms, we're welcomed inside
not giving hint to the skeletons we hide

"good morning," the pastor says
irony betrays what's true
behind his smile, he's hiding stuff too


why are we so afraid of the messiness of life? why are we so bad at being vulnerable? what makes us think we have the right to judge someone else when they are honest enough to be real? Church should be the people that we can go to when we are in those dark and scary places. where unconditional love isn't a question and there's an understanding that we're all broken. brokenness sucks, but it's a beautiful place when God meets you there.
xo

i'm kind of jumpy.

i recently worked project 86's merch table. i'm not a huge project fan (i have one cd that i think they gave me the last time i worked their table) but i know who andrew schwab is, and let's be honest, does anyone care about anyone in the band but him? not so much.
so i got to the table as they were setting it up and met mr. schwab, matt the drummer, shook hands with a fill-in guitarist whose name i can't remember and saw cody from the wedding (he was filling in on bass- i already knew him). i was filled in on prices and the special sale of the day as hordes of project fans started crowding around to buy stuff and get andrew to sign it since he was conveniently standing there. out of the corner of my eye i saw him sign one of his books, take a picture and walk away as i was grabbing someone a tee in their size. as i was holding up the shirt and about to ask, "this alright?" (in reference to the size of the tee) i felt a hand on my shoulder and hear a voice in my ear say, "you okay if i leave?"
thinking i was alone behind the table i did the very girly thing of screaming really high and really loud upon realizing i was, in fact, not alone behind the table. yep, i screamed right in andrew schwab's face. everyone stopped and it got real quiet. i felt awesome. and turned bright red.
thankfully he just started laughing and said he'd be back later. true to his word he came back later. and waved at me from about 20 feet back so i'd see him coming and when he finally reached the table said, "i wanted to make sure you saw me, i didn't want to scare you again." thanks andrew, you sure are a swell guy.
xo

a poem.

i have a friend. we'll call him chad* chad really likes jen (the newish drummer in the band skillet). chad likes jen so much he wrote her a poem but didn't deliver it. this is really your gain that he never got it to her because now you get to read it here.

"roses are red.
violets are blue
i suck at rhyming
so i just thought i'd say i think you are amazing. i really appreciate what you are doing and your desire to be a godly woman and think you are breathtakingly gorgeous. you have the voice of an angel. i'm not a creep and i never do stuff like this, but i have a job and a car and a college degree in music so i'm not a deadbeat. and i'm sure you have guys asking you to marry them all the time, so sorry if i'm just another one of those guys. the point is i'm NOT just another one of those guys. i don't want to marry you. i think a phone call or two first, then some dates, meeting your parents, you meeting mine, etc should probably come first. in summation i would like to quote abba, 'take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me' sincerely, chad"

i think it's a shame he didn't deliver it. rock star or not, any girl would swoon over beautiful words like that. haha!
xo
*not his real name. seriously, it's not.

best. night. ever.

this fairy tale story starts way back in 2004. this is the year i saw the band, the wedding play for the very first time. instantly in love. loved their sound, loved their stage presence, loved their message. ever since then i've caught every show of theirs possible. skip ahead to last summer- i ended up working the merch table right next to theirs at multiple festivals and got to know them a little bit. this past may i went to one of the smallest wedding show's i've ever been to (shame on you, minnesota, where is your love?!). after the show i was talking with matt (the lead singer) and i asked if they ever had anyone play violin live for the song "redeem" because it's my favorite on the album and i love strings. to keep the story short, the conversation ended with him telling me to bring my violin to a festival called "rock the barn" to play together and see if it would work to play in the show.
so i did. i learned the song and brought my violin, fingers crossed that i would at least get to jam with matt and die a happy girl :) i was so stinkin' nervous that i dang near threw up yesterday morning. that's right kids, rock the barn was yesterday....this is about as fresh as any story of mine is gonna get!
shortly after arriving i connected with matt and we went into the "band barn" to play. i was nervous but a line from the song "redeem" ran through my head, "we cannot afford to be afraid anymore." this was it, do or die, step up to the plate, now or never and there was no way i was going to let this opportunity pass me by! so we jammed (well as much as an acoustic guitar and a classical violin can jam) and it was so great! throughout the course of us running through the song (i think we probably played it about 35 times) the other band members would stop in and listen. once we had it down we stopped for dinner and to listen to some shows.
a short while later matt came to me and said the other guys in the band thought it would be great if we played during the set and were fully supportive! i was out of my mind ecstatic! we ran through the song one more time and then they took the stage.....three songs later i climbed up for the most whirlwind three minutes of my life. it was epic. i even got my own special applause when adam said, "give it up for sara on the violin". not gonna lie, the best part though was after when all the guys in the band told me i did a fabulous job. it means a lot coming from people who play music for a living.
if you haven't listened to the wedding before go listen right now! and they have a new ep coming out later this summer that you can pre-order on their website (www.theweddingrockandroll.com)- so you should probably do that too! i heard some demo cuts from it and i'm already in love with it! and some of the pre-order packages are pretty interesting ;)
xo

these boots are made for walkin'

i love big productions. when there's a huge stage, pyro-technics, security guards and thousands of people. but there is also a part of me that loves small, intimate concerts in the grungy little clubs where the artists mingle out on the floor because there literally is no backstage area and the stage lights consist of track lighting. i just so happened to be at one of these shows watching one of my favorite kentucky bands, the savvy (formerly nineball)along with some other bands i didn't know.
now i also love fashion and that night i was wearing my red corduroy boots. my outfit was all black and grey so the boots really popped. as i was walking into the club i was stopped by a boy who asked, "can i touch your boots?" I said, "sure!" and lifted a foot for him to give my glorious boots a feel. "rad," was his response as he rubbed the corduroy and i said, "yep, they're pretty great." we both went into the club and i met up with some friends as he went off in another direction.

the red boots.

the next time i saw him he was on stage sound checking his mic. turns out he was the lead singer of the radiance effect. opportunity missed.
xo

a classic of old.

in the not-so-distant past i had the opportunity to see one of my fave bands: the classic crime. it was the first time i was seeing them live and i was pretty stoked on it. i met up at the show with another tcc lover, we soaked in the entire show from the screams when they stepped on stage to the "thank you and good night."
after the show we milled around watching the crowd get autographs and pictures. about this time, matt, the lead singer of the classic crime wandered by. we started chatting and i thanked him for playing "salt in the snow"- a song that i was obsessed with for a solid 2 months. he said he was taking all the credit cause the other guys in the band didn't want to play it and he pulled his "front man rank" and made them. i was glad he made that executive decision! we made a bit more small talk and he was pulled away by another fan. seems like a pretty standard encounter yes? fan gushes, rock star takes it in stride, we all move on with life. awesome.
what made this particular conversation interesting is how matt greeted me and bid me farewell....both with a bow. a palms together, knees locked, head bent, fold at the waist, bow.it was a pretty humbling experience actually, i have never been bowed to before and don't foresee it happening anytime again in the future but it struck a chord in me. bowing can be a sign of a lot of things including submission, gratitude, and sincerity. here was the one that everyone in the room had put on a pedestal bowing to an excited fan. now maybe he's just a germ-a-phobe and didn't want to shake hands with everyone but it showed his humanity. it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that musicians (along with athletes, actors, politicians, etc) get elevated to god-like statuses in our culture and matt's simple gesture of a bow immediately reminded me (and maybe himself) that he's just a dude. he was grateful that people had come out to watch him do the thing he loves and showed his appreciation in an age old way. it proved he knows he is no better than you or me just because he gets to do what a lot of people dream of doing and that he knows he couldn't do what he does without the support of fans buying cd's and coming to shows.
hopefully this post is a reminder to those who read it to be genuinely thankful for everything you have in life and know that you are no better or worse than anyone else. maybe an act of submission would do some of us good, put us in our place so to speak. and maybe being on the receiving end would help others realize just how valuable they are.
xo
ps. i think i'm honestly going to take up bowing

i WILL marry a rockstar.

the other day my mom told me she thought i was going to marry a guy who wears khaki pants.
it broke my heart.
xo

say it loud and clear.

by the time i hit my freshman year of college i had already gone to my fair share of shows, had more autographs than you could shake a stick at, and my dorm walls were covered with band posters. one of the most memorable shows, however, happened at my school. every year the school brought in a band that was a "national" band but they were the up and comers, the ones who had one album out, played any show they could get their hands on and wore rumpled clothes that smelled like 15-passenger van. that year the band of choice was sanctus real.
i had the only sanctus real cd out at the time (say it loud) and made sure i knew every song by heart before they came. concerts are so much more fun when you can sing along! so i was pretty pumped to see their show and made sure i was front and center (which wasn't too difficult since i don't think majority of the student population even showed up). matt hammit is a bang on singer, in person he sounds just like he does on the cd. the concert was fun and the crowd was really getting into it. then he decided to throw in a little crowd participation, he started dragging people up on stage. first up was a guy named mike who had been going nuts the entire show. his "job" was to get onstage and dance. next matt asked for a guitarist, my sister raised her hand and up she went. she was handed a guitar and told what chord to strum. he scanned the crowd, our eyes locked, he pointed at me and said, "you. you've been singing along all night, get up here."
my stomach leapt into my throat as i was handed a mic. we launched into the chorus of the title track, the mic was on!! my voice along with his filled the gym, i thought i was going to throw up on the spot. but i held it together and finished the song. he thanked all of us and we went back to our places in the crowd, i don't remember anything about the rest of the show. afterwards matt signed my cd jacket and told me i did a "wonderful job".
i didn't stop smiling for a week.
xo

a taste of the future?

maybe some of you are pondering the question, "if this girl is so in love with rock stars and bands, why isn't she just in a band?" okay, maybe you're not pondering that question but i'm going to answer it anyway....i was in a band! it consisted of myself (electric violin, bgv), my sister (guitar), one of my roommates (drums) and another friend of ours (lead vox, bells). chick bands rock. we played a grand total of 3 times in front of people and recorded 4 songs. yeah, we were a pretty big deal.
gig #1- roommate's moms' 40th birthday party. we did a snow patrol cover, everyone sang along quietly. which was nice since when we played our original stuff they only clapped politely when we were finished. we ate cake.
gig #2- super small festival in a super small town. we ate pizza "backstage" in the church basement where the festival was being held. a couple of wonderful people came and watched our set. my violin kept going out of tune....grr. we felt like rockstars.
gig #3- played on tv for a telethon called jingle bells. we wrote our own christmas tune. i played bass (i don't even play bass) and we all wore matching hand-knit scarves. i'm really bad at knitting and my scarf wasn't finished so i had to safety pin it together. the drums were broken and propped up with hymnals. the sister had 4 day old hair that was standing on end. my mom, dad, and brother came to sit in the live audience. if that doesn't say rock star, i don't know what does.

our band. plus a toddler.

needless to say, we disbanded. our lead singer moved to denver and we weren't so certain we were that great anyway. we may not have played any more shows but the nervous excitement of playing for a crowd was embedded deep within my bones and is just itching to get out....this summer it may just have that chance. stay tuned!
xo

rock stars and thrift stores= 2 of my favorite things.

i grew up shopping at thrift stores. we shopped at thrift stores before thrift stores were cool. i used to be embarassed about shopping in said stores, now the thought of paying retail makes me throw up in my mouth. i love thrift stores so much i even worked in one (it's called ThriftSmart and if you're ever in nashy you should hit it up- say hi to martha while you're there).
the second greatest thing about working at this particular thrift store were the amazing customers that came in. the first greatest thing was tuesdays when clothing was a quarter- my closet grew tenfold. but back to the customers......they were awesome. from the little mexican kids who only spoke spanish to the ridiculous old man who wintered in florida and asked me what it was like "kissin the boys with that thing in your lip [my lip ring]" to the rock stars who came in. true story, rock stars came into my store.
the first one that came in was randy owens, the lead singer from the band alabama. he was there for a 'hands on nashville' event so he wasn't shopping but it totally counts.
the second one was todd milsap (ronnie milsap's son). he was there doing community service and called me "sara baby" and paid for his purchases with quarters. epic. thirdly there was britt from the now-defunct band, the swift. he was donating a bunch of stuff to the store and we got chatting. his band had played at my college once and he said he remembered playing there. he couldn't believe how "remote" it felt (that's when i knew he actually remembered). i seriously considered telling him that me and one of my friends have matching "the swift" shirts and wore them one day to be twins but figured he probably didn't care even a little bit so i let it go.
fourth (and last for this post), was jason from a great nashville band called shirock. he also used to be in a little band called paramore, heard of them? anyway, he came in and was buying a bunch of silverware. i thought it was weird but i also thought it was a great excuse to talk to the handsome guitarist so i asked him about it. turns out, he makes jewlery out of it. lots of rings, bracelets and pendants. he was wearing a few of his creations and they were really cool (and i'm not just saying that because he happens to be in a band, they really were cool). after i oogled his jewelry i admitted that i knew who he was and how i had heard about shirock from a friend of mine who had filled in on bass for them for awhile. our conversation was going great, we had stuff and people in common, i said i wanted to buy one of his rings, he said i should come to a show, pure magic. i haven't seen him since.
so if you see jason (or any other rock star for that matter) let them know i wear a ring size 6.
xo

r.i.p. newsboys.

i know that i have mentioned my intense love for phil joel (multiple times) and the newsboys before but i thought i would just take a moment and delve into how deep my love for them really runs. i'm sure there are people out there who have seen them countless times more than i have but i do consider myself more than just your average fan. over the course of the last 12 years, I have seen them perform 18 times.
a fair number of those shows were at good ol' summer festivals. but also thrown in was the traveling air dome tour (sonicflood and bean bag opened for them), a random show in a random town (superchick and between the trees graced that stage), and even going so far as driving across international boarders (oh canada!) to see them. the canada show was an extra delight because thousand foot krutch was the opening band.
i followed them religiously. at one point i even knew all of their birthdays and the names of their wives. i was shocked when jody davis left, crushed when phil joel took his leave and absolutely devastated when, just over a year ago, it was announced that peter furler would be stepping down as lead singer.
i tried to be supportive, i really did. despite the fact that i think that michael tait is about the dumbest option to put in as lead vox. hello clash of my 90's christian music world. and he sounds nothing like my favorite bald, eyes lined, always-in-black aussie. but i really did try to be for about the whole changeover, i mean, peter practically handpicked michael. i even made an extra effort to see their show last summer at sonshine.
but i failed miserably in my attempt at optimism. when tait came out and started singing "shine" two giant tears rolled down my cheeks. i tried to blame it on lack of sleep and too much sun to my friends who gave me weird looks but it was honestly because my heart was breaking. there i was, a 23 year old girl, standing in the middle of the pit on a balmy july evening crying because my once favorite band would never be the same. oh to be young and in love.
xo

favorites.

i firmly believe you can have more than one favorite. it's oxy-moronic and doesn't make sense but i've come to embrace it. these are some of my favorite song lyrics of all time....these words moved me for one reason or another and they are stored in the special compartment in my heart, right next to the one reserved for phil joel.

"the beauty of grace is it makes life not fair"

"can i break the spell of the typical?"

"washed by the sun, dried by the rain, to be my Father in the fatherless days"

"i'm not brave enough to conquer love"

"i'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies" (this one may or may not be tattooed on my person somewhere)

"prone to wander, Lord i feel it, prone to leave this God i love"

"all these minstrels through the ages, that is really all we are"

"i'm finding each time that you fall, you're just becoming who you are"

"hope's not giving up"

as i'm typing i realize this list could go on and on, so this will be part I.......part II to be revealed later...sometime...
xo

korn.

korn was one of those bands i was never allowed to listen to. they swore in their songs, and talked about drugs and sex...we didn't even say 'drugs' or 'sex' in my house. now i'm not the type of girl to rebel against my parents just because they didn't want me to do something so it the whole korn phenomenon passed me by without a second glance. i briefly heard about their guitarist becoming a christian and probably thought some really jaded thought like, "we'll see how long that lasts." end of korn story. wrong!

just a few weeks ago i got the incredible opportunity to interview brian 'head' welch from korn. when i first heard that i was going to get to talk to him face to face i went into scramble mode trying to learn everything i could about him, his past, and his former band. i borrowed korn cd's (not as bad as i was expecting!), read his book and watched interviews online. i was a sponge for everything 'head'.

the day of the interview i was so nervous! i mean, i've met rock stars before in my life but this guy was a legit rock star who had millions of fans around the world, i have one follower on my blog (thanks doc!). instantly i was put at ease when he asked to sit to my right during the interview so his good side would be on camera. not gonna lie, i wanted to sit there too because you could see my lip ring better but who was i to deny the guy?! oh vanity!
the interview went well despite the fact that i'm a "hand-talker" and i looked like a frickin' windmill. he was really intense but very eager to share his story and what God has done in his life. he talked about his tattoos, his daughter, life since korn and twitter.
if you don't know his story you should definitely check it out, it's one of hope. it shows that God is moving in lives still. it shows that God is bigger than anything in this world. it shows that you're never too far gone.
xo

baby you're all that i want....

i admit it, i love american idol. i have a friend who calls it crappy karaoke, another friend who won't watch it purely because it was the "it" show for so long, and i'm sure i have friends who are closet fans and will never admit it. i, on the other hand, think it is an absolutely phenomenal show! on what other show do you have a paint salesman, a high schooler, a glass blower and a mother turn into celebrities overnight? and all for the love of music.
every season i have a favorite (much like everyone else who watches does). a couple of seasons ago daughtry was my numbero uno. last season i pretty much could not get enough of adam lambert. and this season my heart belongs to a boy named casey james. (does anyone else think he looks even just a little like phil joel?????)
watching this season has been interesting being that i don't currently have a tv. so on tuesday nights i kick it at my parents house (gotten them hooked as well, awesomes) to watch and on wednesday i watch at the gym while i walk on the treadmill. it's worked out decently and i've probably improved my health along the way-bonus! anyway, early in the season it was girls on tuesday, boys on wednesday before they whittled it down to the top 12, so i was at the gym on wednesday watching the boys compete for one of those spots when i dang near fell off my treadmill.
sitting on a stool, casey sang "heaven" by bryan adams and i nearly ate it in front of the entire gym. i'm not entirely certain if i sped up or slowed down or what but i do know that one minute i was walking normally and the next minute i was doing some fancy footwork in a vain effort to stay upright. i don't know that he has the vocals to beat out lee or crystal (they are both ri-dic-u-lous-ly good) but i do know that casey will never classify as a "don't."
xo
ps. if you don't watch idol that last sentence will make zero sense to you and if you do watch idol i apologize for being such a cheeseball.

where's waldo?

so i occasionally pride myself on being able to spot rock-stars when they are just out and about living life. i lived in nashville for a year and was constantly on "stalker watch" everywhere i went. i spotted the lead singer of emerson drive in the park and two days later saw the guitarist of rascal flatts in a cafe, that was a great week. but the best week of the year for me was GMA week. for those who may not know, GMA week is the magical time of year when all of my favorite people gather in one little city for some showcases and an awards ceremony (someday i'll get to that ceremony, i think i can, i think i can).
anyway record store day happened to fall at the beginning of this week and mute math was playing at grimey's! for free!! of course me and the roomies went. while we were standing waiting for the show to begin i leaned over and said to one roommate, "wouldn't it be great if jon foreman was here?" and as i was finishing that exact sentence i look up and who should be standing on one of the back balcony but one mr. philip zach! haha, i know, he's not jon foreman but he runs a close second! i elbowed my roominator and pointed, mouth agape. first words out of her mouth, "before this night is over i dare you to get a picture with him."

see, i'm a huge stalker.

the whole night i kept one eye on the show and one eye on my dare (creepy? maybe a little but i was on a mission now!). once the show ended and some people cleared out i saw my moment. he was walking alone across the parking lot where the concert was being held, i ran over and said, "you're in remedy drive right?" he confirmed that indeed he was and i asked if he would take a picture with me and explained why. believe me, saying out loud that you were dared to take a picture with someone sounds even dumber than reading it in a blog post. but he was gracious and took the picture with me and even chatted for a few minutes before heading off for the night.

so the question of the day: truth or dare?

xo

hate->love.

in early 2003 i heard the song, 'sadie hawkin's dance' by relient k. i. hated. it.
i felt they didn't have enough great songs on "anatomy of tongue in cheek" to balance out the crappy ones and the few good songs on the album just showcased how much they were wasting their talents on the other songs (think 'marilyn manson ate my girlfriend'). i was not an rk fan.
fast forward to 2007. i was doing an internship at a church in london and a guy in the office played "five score and seven years ago" non-stop. i. adored. it.
the song, 'deathbed' made up for any wrong doing matt theissen had committed in my mind. i loved the album so much (and apparently talked about it enough) that the team bought me the cd as part of my parting present when my internship ended. my friends got to hear me sing the entire 14-minute song (deathbed) while standing on top of the arc de triomphe in paris gazing at a glittering eiffel tower. it's on tape. no, you can't see it.
when i saw them perform 'deathbed' live last summer i pulled out my cell phone and sang at the top of my lungs. it was epic.
never let hate keep you from missing out on a great thing!
xo

love rock

time for another phenomenal merch table story.
i love music festivals and got the opportunity to work a table at the biggest festival in minnesota. now this festival usually attracts teenagers with skinny jeans, lip rings and loads of eyeliner but there will always be the sweet (and slightly weird) adults that come too. i really hope that when i'm 45 i'm still out there rockin' out for the newsboys reunion tour. and it will be the rightful newsboys too, peter furler taking lead and phil joel behind the bass. but i digress.
so i'm behind the table, talking to folks, selling cd's, having a grand time. the band whose table i was working had just finished their show so it was packed with everyone clamoring to get their autographs. craziness ensues for about an hour and left standing at the table is the band, myself, and one lady in a visor, sweatshirt tied around her waist and a handful of rocks. on each rock there was a word.
she had made it her mission to give each member of every band a rock that weekend. i cannot imagine the hours she had put into making these rocks, there were literally hundreds! she stuck out her hand for me to pick a rock, i told her i wasn't in the band and she said to take one anyway since i was serving that weekend. at first i found it a bit silly and just picked the smallest rock i could, it happened to say love on it. i tossed it in my purse and forgot about it.
i found it sometime later and realized that she was just doing what she could to be an encouragement to the bands in their ministry. she spent time making those rocks, she had the guts to talk to the bands and pass them out, she probably knew that most of them would end up on the ground somewhere never to be thought of again, but she did it anyway because it was how she knew to love on those bands. i still have my love rock.
i hope this post is an encouragement to the three of you that read this to get out and love people in whatever way you can. i'm not saying to go write on a bunch of rocks and pass them out to your friends (not gonna lie, i still find the whole rock thing a bit strange) but find however it is that you can love on people and do it! you might make a bigger difference than you realize.
xo

a girl crazier than me

i have a friend named jake. jake used to be a dj at a pretty prominent christian radio station in the midwest and was therefore granted backstage access to all of my favorite festivals. raise your hand if you're jealous. *raises hand*
anyway we were at LifeLight in south dakota and he had an extra backstage pass so he gave it to me for the weekend! finally, i was being granted permission to hang out with the rock stars!
being that jake has a pretty face and a magnetic personality he was always the one to go onstage and plug the radio station and introduce bands. i was standing stage right waiting for the next show and he was onstage doing his thing when i met grace. grace was a 19 year old girl who was interning at the local paper and was asked to take pictures of the event all weekend. she was excited because her favorite band (everyday sunday) was about to play and i was still just thrilled over the fact that i was backstage- it really doesn't take much to make me happy. this is the dialog that unfolded between us:
grace: "so which band are you here with?"
me: "oh, i'm not with a band, i'm with that kid (points to jake)"
grace: "you know jake scott?!"
me: "yeah, we actually met years ago at Bible camp"
grace: "i love his show on the radio, he's really funny. and cute"
me: "haha, sure. it's funny hearing him on the radio because he sounds the same but different on air"
grace: "yeah, sometimes when i pray, i pray using his voice"

eeek! hahahaha, i told jake and he was a little creeped out (probably rightfully so) but i thought it was great! finally, there is a girl out there who is more fanatical than me. like my sister always says, "you know you're someone if you're being stalked."
xo

"to love somebody"

pseudo-rock stars in my eyes are the same thing as legit rock stars, they are just one step behind. so naturally when a boy plays guitar or piano and sings incredibly well i'm head over heels before i even know his name.
this was the case when i was volunteering at Bible camp for a weekend retreat one winter. i went expecting a fun weekend filled with broomball, apples to apples, hot chocolate and some great worship. i got a whole lot more.
enter brady. great jeans, great 5 o'clock shadow, great teeth (i know i'm obsessed, i'm working on it). and for some reason his mannerisms reminded me a whole lot of paul meany- and i love, love, love mute math. i know i should have been looking at the inside but i just met the kid, all i had was the physical!
the weekend started off with a bang and a really great worship session. brady played guitar and sang with a couple of other guys. we praised our Creator, heard a mini-sermon and then headed to a time of "fellowship" out on ice.
while out on the broomball court one of the camper boys got upset and started sassing off to one of the other female counselors. not making a big scene brady called out to the boy ephesians 4:31-32, "let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." a rock star in the making who loves Jesus too, could it be??
after the game we headed up to a "coffee house" time in the lodge. hot drinks were served and kids and adults were encouraged to get up and sing or read a poem or whatever. after a couple of students went brady got up and asked who knew of/liked the bee gees? a couple of us counselors woohoo'd and the kids just sat there with blank faces. he proceeded to do a cover of the song, "to love somebody". fairly certain i didn't breathe the entire song.
my roommate-at-the-time was there and could see the love written all over my face. she leaned over and said, "he is now the measuring stick. all other boys will have to live up to brady."
she's right.
xo

will you.....me?

i am just going to forewarn you, this will be the first of many "merch table stories"- it is also one of my personal favorites!
a couple of years ago the family force 5 and falling up tour came through town and i was asked to work merch. rad. so i got crunk and crossed my fingers that i'd get to work ff5's table. no such luck, i ended up working falling up's table, which is fine since i may have a bit of a crush on joe kisselburg. and their main merch man (the guy that travels with them) is hilarious. all was not lost!
the best part of the night though came after the show had ended and kids were just milling about finding rock stars to sign their t-shirts, posters, and shoes and i was doling out said t-shirts and posters (no shoes for sale) like candy.
me: "hi! did you enjoy the show?"
random teenage boy: "yeah, i did. are you married to one of the guys in the band?"
me:(chuckles) "no, but i should be, right?"
random boy: "so since you aren't married to one of them, will you go to prom with me?"
me:(laughs out loud) "i'm a bit old to go to prom, but thank you for asking."
random boy: (turns to friend) "see, i told you she wouldn't go with me."

i will never know if he was being serious or if it was all a dare but i will never forget it. kids say the darndest things.
xo

a love that rivals phil joel.

this is the story of how i met the second love of my life, jon foreman. it was my freshman year of college and myself along with four other girls and one brave boy piled into my sister's baretta to drive into the city to see switchfoot. we had heard the show was sold out (we didn't have tickets) so we were going extra early to be the first ones in line in case they had a few left at the door. the show was at 7pm, we were arriving at 2pm. we parked in a lot right next to the venue and as we're climbing out of the car we look across the lot and who should be climbing out of another car but jon foreman and co. i honestly think i may have wet my pants a little.
being the very uncool kids that we are we bum rushed them. as they were asking all of our names and found out that we didn't have tickets, hence the reason we were there so painfully early, they were like "no problem, we'll put you on the guest list." so they took down our names, waved and headed into the club for whatever pre-show rituals they may have.
so we got in line. and waited. and watched them put up a sign in the window that said "sold out - don't even ask". and got nervous that maybe switchfoot had forgotten to tell them about us. and waited some more. and finally the doors opened, moment of truth. we went to the guest list area and they had remembered!!! there we were being ushered into the venue like we were something special and we didn't have to pay a dime.
the show was incredible,jon even pointed and waved at us standing in the front row, my heart melted when they sang learning to breathe. since we hadn't had to pay for tickets we all bought copious amounts of merch and got into the autograph line, they remembered all of our names and thanked us for coming. such stellar guys.
that (among many other reasons) is why this girl will never call switchfoot a sell-out.
xo

love makes you say silly things.

ever since my first festival i have become obsessed with all things music/musicians. ask any of my friends, they all know. they also all know that i have a tendency to let my mouth run the show once i'm in the presence of rock stars. it's an emotional word vomit that i can't seem to stop! and it always seems to be some physical characteristic that i comment on.

to trevor (the lead singer of thousand foot krutch and fm static) i said, "you have beautiful teeth." to which he replied by sticking out his hand (for me to shake) and said, "hi, i'm trevor." but seriously, go check out his teeth, they really are gorgeous.

to brian (the lead singer of vota) i commented, "you have the bluest eyes in the world. i think they're great." he seemed a bit more fazed than trevor, he just kinda looked at me and mumbled a thank-you.

and finally to ben (guitarist of skillet) i mentioned that i appreciated that he put his full name on facebook, even though he had no control over what his parents named him, because judah is just such a fabulous middle name. he responded by asking me my middle name- which also happens to start with a 'j', we're probably destined to be together.

i always feel dumb after these encounters but secretly hope they will always remember the girl who commented on their teeth, eyes, or middle name.

xo

beginning of the love story.

in the beginning there was a girl. she was 12 and about to embark on an adventure that would radically change her world: she was going to her first music festival. upon arriving she set up her tent and wandered the grounds. over the course of three days she took in the sights of multiple stages, the sounds of melodies soaring to the skies and the smells of sweat, fried food and port-a-potty's. before arriving she was most excited to see princess amy grant and prince michael w. smith but quickly fell head over heels for the curly blonde mop of sir phil joel and the rest of his crew (aka: the newsboys). she found that she loved being in the pit surrounded by thousands of people jumping up and down, singing at the top of their lungs. she loved the way music told a story and brought people together. she loved how in that moment she realized this was where she was meant to be and where she would always want to be. by music and love was how she wanted to live. it's 12 years later and she hasn't looked back since.
this is my story. i am that girl. a dozen years after my first music festival and i still can't get enough. there is a soft spot in my heart that is still reserved for phil joel (i'm sure he'd be super thrilled if he knew). this blog is going to be my stories of meeting rock stars (well my version of rock stars anyway), working merch tables (i've worked a few in my day), and a few stories about falling more in love with music and the Creator and creators of music. if you are reading this you may seriously be the only one so thanks much, let's be friends, i'll grow to love you too! if you are a rock star reading this, rest assured, i love you already.
xo