midnight text.

my friends, they know me. they know me well. i have a friend, zachary. he's a cool kid. seriously, he's one of those really cool people who isn't even trying to be cool, he just is. he lives in east nashville in a dirty community house, rides a moped, has a rat-tail, wears suspenders with skinny jeans, loves jesus and has a laugh that makes you laugh just hearing it. his biggest downfall (in my humble opinion) is that he hates the christian music scene. even though he knows a decent amount of the people in the christian music scene. we've had many a "discussion" about this. so imagine my surprise when late one night i enter into this text conversation (this may not be verbatim but it's close) :
zachary: so i'm at the bar and guess who's sitting next to me?
me: who?!
zachary: your boy matt theissen
me: oh my goodness! talk to him for me!
zachary: what?! and say what?
me: tell him you know a girl who would marry him.
zachary: no
me: okay, tell him you know a girl who would love to be his date to the doves
zachary: again, no
me: well say something!
zachary: he's with some girl
me: hurry, my window of opportunity is closing
zachary: i'm not going to say anything to him
me: you suck
zachary: haha.
honestly, why would he tease me like that?! it's just so rude. next time i'm in nashy me and zachary are going musician hunting. i mean, he owes me, really. i could be mrs. theissen right now if he hadn't screwed everything up ;)
xo

let's be real with one another.

this here is a song penned by yours truly. a couple of warnings: 1) it's crappy, at best. 2) don't get me wrong, i love the Church. this was born out of frustration, my own and the frustration of a friend of mine. here goes nothing:

you all think i'm perfect
a little game that we play
you ask how i am, i say "i'm okay"

at the door secrets are checked
i say the right thing, wear the right dress
underneath it all i'm completely a mess

*the bones in my closet try to break free
if they do will you still accept me?
your eyes see only what they want to see
being real is the scariest place to be*

smiles plastered on faces
with open arms, we're welcomed inside
not giving hint to the skeletons we hide

"good morning," the pastor says
irony betrays what's true
behind his smile, he's hiding stuff too


why are we so afraid of the messiness of life? why are we so bad at being vulnerable? what makes us think we have the right to judge someone else when they are honest enough to be real? Church should be the people that we can go to when we are in those dark and scary places. where unconditional love isn't a question and there's an understanding that we're all broken. brokenness sucks, but it's a beautiful place when God meets you there.
xo