family love.

please excuse the fact that i'm hardcore cheesin' in this pic

over christmas my family had family photos taken because we literally don't have any pictures of my entire family despite the fact that there have been two weddings and we can coordinate our clothing without seeming too matchy-matchy.

since we were having the pictures taken on a bridge we had to get a bit creative with poses so we weren't all just standing in a line for all of them. we had the classic jumping pictures. we had mini-vignette pictures that included myself, my mom and my sister-in-law taking a selfie (awesome.)  and there were some "couples" pictures (here is where you can shed a tear for me since i'm single and i didn't get a couples pic.)

one of my favorites, though, was the picture (posted above) where we are all holding a sign that has our favorite christmas song written on it in our own handwriting. it's personal and says so much about our personalities:

mom: "mary did you know?"- she is clearly the best Christian of us all. and she loves kenny rogers.
dad: "it's christmas vacation"- we had just watched 'national lampoon's: christmas vacation' like we do every year and he sings along every time. he also drew a little tree because he had spaced his words poorly.
brother: "baby, it's cold outside"- i guess we all know where his head is. also, it's in the movie 'elf.'
sister-in-law: "12 days of christmas"- apparently she likes to count. and repetition.
me: "i celebrate the day"- relient k song, definitely some of matt thiessen's better work.
sister: "come on, ring those bells"- we used to sing this in the church i grew up in. the best part was when they gave the little kids bells to ring and they literally all stopped caring about singing and focused solely on making the most noise with their bells.
brother-in-law: "frosty the snowman"- i am guessing this is because he grew up in the south and never experienced snow?

what's your favorite christmas song?

xo
ps. if you're in nashville and need pictures taken, i highly recommend blue dahlia photography! great work, great people. and they're not even paying me to say this.

prove the poets wrong.

needtobreathe's documentary 'prove the poets wrong' released on tuesday night- it was raw and emotional and showed the not-so-pretty side of being in a band.

wrapped up in just 34 minutes:

• there was a fist fight
• a band member left
• history was traced back 20 years
• questions were asked
• few answers were given
• they laid it all out. the good, the bad, the ugly.

they didn't try to sugarcoat anything. their hearts were brazenly worn on their sleeves and they admitted that it was a bit tough to watch some the footage. they aren't perfect...they aren't trying to be. they are human.

one of my favorite parts of the documentary was when bo talked about their personal faith being the constant in their lives. in a world where everything changes (states, cities, venues, tours, band members, "salaries", celebrity) they have one thing to hold on to.

it is a great reminder for anyone in any situation. life changes, sometimes against our will (or often against our will), and there is literally only one thing we can count on; God knows, cares, and loves.

if you haven't watched the documentary yet, check it out:

seriously, i am becoming a CHAMP at posting videos 

xo 

who's gonna save us now?

who doesn't love a good documentary?
i don't even know.

i was unaware until just a couple days ago that the boys of NEEDTOBREATHE were working on one and after watching 'fading west' i am stoked to see 'prove the poets wrong.'

this post is also partially happening because i literally JUST learned how to add a video to my blog. safe to say i'm not the most technologically literate person on the planet.
i will be sure to report back on my thoughts of the documentary. you should watch it too, i'd love to hear your thoughts!

xo

j.foreman

if you counted all the times jon foreman is mentioned in this blog the amount would be ridiculous. i honestly think he's a wonderful person. i am a little afraid that if i were to meet him he couldn't live up to the image of him i have in my head. but he probably would because he's legitimately just that great.

recently jon was asked if switchfoot was a christian band and his response is just another reason added to the list of why i love the frontman:

“To be honest, this question grieves me because I feel that it represents a much bigger issue than simply a couple SF tunes. In true Socratic form, let me ask you a few questions: Does Lewis or Tolkien mention Christ in any of their fictional series? Are Bach’s sonata’s Christian? What is more Christ-like, feeding the poor, making furniture, cleaning bathrooms, or painting a sunset? There is a schism between the sacred and the secular in all of our modern minds.
The view that a pastor is more ‘Christian’ than a girls volleyball coach is flawed and heretical. The stance that a worship leader is more spiritual than a janitor is condescending and flawed. These different callings and purposes further demonstrate God’s sovereignty.
Many songs are worthy of being written. Switchfoot will write some, Keith Green, Bach, and perhaps yourself have written others. Some of these songs are about redemption, others about the sunrise, others about nothing in particular: written for the simple joy of music.
None of these songs has been born again, and to that end there is no such thing as Christian music. No. Christ didn’t come and die for my songs, he came for me. Yes. My songs are a part of my life. But judging from scripture I can only conclude that our God is much more interested in how I treat the poor and the broken and the hungry than the personal pronouns I use when I sing. I am a believer. Many of these songs talk about this belief. An obligation to say this or do that does not sound like the glorious freedom that Christ died to afford me.
I do have an obligation, however, a debt that cannot be settled by my lyrical decisions. My life will be judged by my obedience, not my ability to confine my lyrics to this box or that.
We all have a different calling; Switchfoot is trying to be obedient to who we are called to be. We’re not trying to be Audio A or U2 or POD or Bach: we’re trying to be Switchfoot. You see, a song that has the words: ‘Jesus Christ’ is no more or less ‘Christian’ than an instrumental piece. (I’ve heard lots of people say Jesus Christ and they weren’t talking about their redeemer.) You see, Jesus didn’t die for any of my tunes. So there is no hierarchy of life or songs or occupation only obedience. We have a call to take up our cross and follow. We can be sure that these roads will be different for all of us. Just as you have one body and every part has a different function, so in Christ we who are many form one body and each of us belongs to all the others. Please be slow to judge ‘brothers’ who have a different calling.” (http://ctkblog.com/2013/12/05/why-switchfoot-wont-sing-christian-songs/)

see what i mean?
so great. 

xo

sometimes i wish i lived in a snowglobe.

i work at a college that isn't exactly the most business-y place to work always. i mean, business gets done here and there are a few people (president, vp's, some professors) who wear suits everyday but for the most part it's slightly more relaxed than, say, wall street.

this type of environment has it's perks; every day at 3pm we have break (that i affectionately call "snack") where all the faculty and staff are invited to the cafe to grab a bite to eat and free beverage and take a couple minutes just to chat.
we also have a door decorating contest every year at Christmas. we are encouraged to decorate our office doors in a Christmas-theme and then they're judged and we can win prizes.
yes, i am an adult working at an academic institution and we get snack and prizes.

sometimes my job is a-okay.

obviously my door must somehow be connected to music. it just does, okay?

last year i took wham!'s song 'last christmas' and did a comic version of it on my door. it involved me giving my heart to keith harkin (from celtic thunder. don't judge), him throwing it in the trash, me crying, and then me giving my heart to adam levine (sexiest man alive, anyone?). i didn't win.

this year i took matt wertz's song 'snowglobe' and created a snowglobe on my door (i was going to make it three-dimensional but i couldn't find a big enough clear plastic bowl) that depicts my snowglobe dreams. the lyrics to the song sing, "sometimes i wish i lived in a snowglobe..." so naturally this is what i came up with: jon foreman and i riding together in a sleigh pulled by unicorns. believe it or not, i didn't win. stinkin' girl who created an entire 3D who-ville outside her door won, whatever she works for the education department, she had lots of resources. no, i'm not bitter. okay maybe a little. jon foreman in a sleigh pulled by unicorns in GENIUS.

my boss tried to comfort me, "they just don't understand your art. you'll probably make a ton of money once you're dead."

xo

the rules of christmas music.

it's december.
that means it is now appropriate to play Christmas music.
now, people. not before thanksgiving.
now, stores. not before halloween like you were trying to market to me.
now, mom. seriously, i think she randomly listens year-round.
i'm no scrooge, i love Christmas music. but i love it in december.
it's like how i can only have shamrock shakes in march...makes it that much more special. and let's be honest, singing 'silent night' in the middle of summer just doesn't have that same magical feel like it does at the Christmas eve service with only candles lighting the sanctuary and snow falling softly outside the stained glass windows. 
i'm a big fan of the classics and new originals.
the songs that you sing every year and the songs that become the ones you sing every year.
here's one of my favorite originals:

wake up december by talain rayne

merry christmas!

xo

if you watched the ama's....

...you will get this post. if you didn't, you probably won't.

these are my unfiltered thoughts of the american music awards:

• rhianna's mom- totally adorable. her praise and thanks to God looked like it wasn't well received by her daughter but i thought it was fabulous. 
• christina- stop acting. let the song speak for itself. you sound great, though.
• imagine dragons- such an intense performance, what i was hoping for from them. i also wikipedia'd the lead singer during the performance and learned he was a mormon missionary...so that's something.
• taylor- i am glad you've stopped pretending to be so overly excited when you win an award. i'm also glad that they didn't show you at all during 1D's performance....
• speaking of 1D- painfully repetitive song but holy cow are you all attractive. 
• luke bryan- performed well and got male country artist of the year. and when he thanked God i turned to my roommate and said, "that's why i love country music." true story.
• naya rivera- woah girl, why bother wearing anything? 
• pitbull- i feel like your song with ke$ha is dirty but i don't really know and i am not sure i want to explore it further. 
• miley- you killed it. i thought the cat was dumb but you killed it.
• macklemore & ryan lewis- you look like you are having SO MUCH FUN when you perform. thanks for making it look like you have the best job in the world because we all believe you do. also, nice psa. 
• joan jett and dave grohl- long live rock 'n roll. 
• lady gaga- what? 
• justin timberlake- that's neat that you got all your friends to join you on stage for an old fashioned speakeasy. also, why did you never thank your wife? you got like 12 speeches. you, me, and jimmy fallon should hang out sometime. 
• sarah silverman- rhianna does feel the irony. 

the end.

xo

adam levine, sexiest man.

adam levine was just named people magazine's "sexiest man" of 2013.
i can't lie, i think the man is gorgeous.

photo credit: the internet

the stubble.
the tattoos.
the swagger.
the voice.
he oozes charisma and charm.
and let's be honest, he is the ONLY member of maroon 5 that anyone knows.
so i am not hating on the choice.
many are though with one of my favorite comments of someone calling him "ultra-douche adam levine." i admit that he's made some unsavory life choices but that doesn't change the fact that if he gave me a hug (after picking me to be on his team on the voice, naturally) i would probably go weak in the knees.
the choice just makes sense so there really isn't much to talk about.

what i found way more interesting was that they had considered ed sheeran for the title.
not saying that ed is a bad looking guy, just saying that when it comes to hollywood's standard of beauty, mr. sheeran would not rank high with his pale complexion, unruly ginger hair, and softer frame. the singer himself says, "i don't know who the voting party are for people but thank you. it's very kind. but i'm sure i'm the only one on the list who has a belly." sheeran went on to compare himself to austin powers and talked about how much he really doesn't care about his appearance.

photo credit: the internet

so why is he on the list?
i'm going to venture a guess and say that it's his songs. the boy can write songs like no one's business. his song 'give me love' is regularly sung at top volume in my car. and you know that song 'little things' by one direction that every girl just wants her boyfriend to sing to her (and probably notice those little things about her)? yeah, ed wrote that too. and who did taylor call on for her song, well one of them anyway, about an instant love connection? sheeran.
so even though they went with levine for cover boy it makes my hope in humanity rise that we don't completely base a person's worth off the symmetry of their face or the taught-ness of their abs.

moral of the story: no matter what you look like, you should probably make music...'cause that's what's really sexy.


xo

if you can hear me.

you know how sometimes a song gets lodged in your heart and you aren't really sure why because it doesn't really seem to pertain to your life?

recently i got to spend some time with ben rector's new album, a walking in between. it's a lovely singer-songwriter album (it made my top 10 list for the year) and one song in particular hung like a whisper in my soul. the song, if you can hear me, is a prayer for peace.
my life has been decently peachy as of late. i have fabulous friends, a job that i mostly enjoy that pays my bills, i live in one of the greatest city's in the world (in my opinion), and there is currently no snow on the ground which is a bit of a miracle for mid-november in minnesota. there was no reason this song should have captured my attention the way it did. but it did. i enjoyed it enough to post it on my facebook wall.

then saturday morning i got a call and it felt like my whole world was falling apart.
i cried a lot.
i took a shower.
i went on a walk.
i jumped on facebook for an easy distraction.
i saw my own post.
i listened to the song.
it helped.

my life still feels delicate. my heart still hurts. i will probably still shed tears.
but it's going to be okay.
because of music i am reminded i am not alone.

xo

top 10 for 2013

this is my list of the top 10 albums/EP's for 2013. they are in no particular order except for switchfoot. they are first because i love them. so. much.

• switchfoot- fading west EP. it's only 4 songs but 4 incredibly wonderful songs that make me so excited for the full length release in january. 
• needtobreathe- cercas blancas EP. some album versions, some live versions, a couple old songs and one new song that i'm hoping ends up on their next LP. 
• love out loud- the wildlife. they ventured into some new genres on their debut full length and it paid off. 
• anthem lights- covers part I. i swear these boys could sing the phone book and i would think it should win an award. 
• green river ordinance- chasing down the wind EP. when you open with the violin you instantly have my heart. 
• capital kings- capital kings. you just can't go wrong with good dance music.
• the almost- the fear inside our bones. aaron gillespie and co serve up some gritty southern rock 'n roll. 
• the civil wars- the civil wars. those haunting melodies and tight harmonies are always a yes. 
• parachute- overnight. this album has been on repeat for me for months.
• ben rector- the walking in between. this is my singer-songwriter, guy-with-a-guitar choice album for this year. 
• honorable mention: brandon heath- christmas is here. i think i'm mostly for this album because brandon has a campaign going to not have christmas music played until after thanksgiving (not even his album which released just weeks ago) and i completely support that movement. 

so that's my list...who's on your list???

xo

lost in the city of angels.

"i've disappointed myself the most in my life. to not be like, 'wake the f*** up, look what you have, it's what you wanted'" 
"fame is an illusion"
"...place of dreams and broken dreams"
"music was the only thing that made sense"
"things can be given to you so easily but they can be ripped away so quickly as well"
"dreams, they're what sets us apart from being merely a brain and a body"
"who knows what's going to happen after this. i don't know. so if this is the only life why am i not just doing everything that i want to do?"

thirty seconds to mars just released a completely captivating music video that features a lot of famous faces. the song is about the city of los angeles. i've been there, i wasn't a fan but i can see how olivia wilde saw it as "the promised land." it's a city of dreamers and everyone gunning for celebrity. some make it, some end up in porn.
i tell people i didn't like L.A. because it was really dirty and didn't make sense (as a city) to me and was all smoke shops and strip clubs but this video, without meaning to, further explained why i'm not in love with the city of angels...it is sad. there is glitz and glamour but there is an underlying current of "you are no one if you don't 'make it'."
and as much as i think i would be an awesome famous person (i already own multiple pairs of giant sunglasses) i am a firm believer that everyone matters and everyone has a story to tell.

if you have a spare 11 minutes, take a peek at the video:
thirty seconds to mars: city of angels

xo

what about love?

this is the story of a hip hop dancer....

once upon a time (approximately a week ago) there was a college that hosted a lip-synch contest called mock rock. at mock rock boys and girls come up with dances and pantomimes to songs in hopes to wow the crowd and win prizes.
every year there is a special department on campus that performs, not for the money but for the fame and the love of performance.
two years ago this department covered glee's version of rebecca black's "friday" and last year they covered owl city and carly rae jepsen's "good time."
the team decided to step up their dancing this year and tackled austin mahone's "what about love?" thinking the best idea would be to just do a cover of the video since obviously the choreography was done for them, the group elected an "austin" and the rest decided to be his back up dance crew.
this seemed like a stellar idea until they realized that the lone girl in the group was a TERRIBLE dancer.
all of the boys were in real dance groups. the girl was not. the guys picked up the routine for the entire song in approximately 20 minutes. the girl practiced and practiced and practiced and an hour before the performance she was still getting the counting down. the boys nailed the performance. the girl muddied the waters of the choreography a bit.
regardless of her missed steps the crew still got a standing ovation.

photo credit: SAB

if you haven't figured it out (and i don't know how you couldn't have) the girl was me. with music and dance going hand-in-hand, and my deep love of music, you would think i would be a half-way decent dancer. nope. homegirl has really got to take some lessons. anyone want to join me?

xo

yeezus and Jesus.

kanye. kim's baby daddy/fiance. yeezus.
whatever you call him he is a dude with an overinflated ego and a full tank of self importance.
but he may be doing a better job at presenting the gospel than you and I.  maybe.

like any concert, kanye brought along an opening act. for this go-round he chose kendrick lamar. whatever. i don't really care who he brings because i'm not a fan and i'm not going to go to his show. however, he's also brought along a guest that doesn't come out until the end of the concert. he's brought along Jesus.

what?

yeah, Jesus. according to various magazines' reviews of the concert (because like i said, i'm not going to his show) there is a character representing Jesus that comes out at the end of kanye's set and goes through a bit of dialog that includes Jesus saying He has been here all along and He has come to bring light to the darkness.

well that sounds like pretty solid Christian Truth, right?
you're right, it does.
but here's the catch...millennials are leaving the Church in droves (i am sure the barna group could give you all the reasons why) and are now finding their sense of hope at the temple of yeezus. and this truth that yeezus is giving them isn't the whole picture. yeezus is giving them a snapshot of what Truth is and then packing up his bus and leaving. maybe that snapshot is enough to really get to someone's heart to have them dig deeper for the whole Truth but i think it's probably no more effective than the guy standing on the street corner shouting turn and burn messages through a bullhorn. this way is just a little easier to swallow than that guy. but is the Church doing anything to reach out to those hurting/misguided/scorned/'too-intelligent-for-the-Church' twenty-somethings to tell them that Jesus has come to bring light to the dark? does the Church need to? i don't think we need to sell Jesus but are we doing enough to tell people He is here.
and i don't think that kanye is really looking to be the next poster-child for the Christian faith. i think he's probably just capitalizing on trend and trying to be the most shocking thing out there. too many people are talking about miley...not enough are talking about him.

i don't really know where to go from here. i have been thinking about it for days and the only thing i can come up with is to charge people hundreds of dollars a seat to get into church because people are paying that to hear a slice of the gospel from kanye and churches have the whole pie. i don't know if kanye is doing more harm than good or good than harm. any thoughts?

xo

royals

if you have listened to radio at all over the last couple of months it seems that every, and i mean every, station is playing a song called 'royals' by a 16 year old new zealand girl who goes by the name lorde. it's this anti-anthem singing, "and we'll never be royals, it don't run in our blood. that kind of luxe just ain't for us, we crave a different kind of buzz."
i literally don't know one person who doesn't like the song.
and like every good summer mega-hit after a week or so of being a single along came the slew of covers. there are always some incredible covers and some that are straight-up terrible but one that stands out above the rest is the cover of 'royals' by the one and only paper route.
it's ethereal without being sleepy.
it's got great gang vocals.
it's got a breakdown that feels like space.

now maybe i am biased saying that it is the greatest cover of this song because i love paper route and i clearly haven't listened to every cover of the song that has ever been done but it is fabulously great.
here's the link:
'royals' (cover) by: paper route
go listen to it. right now.

xo

fading west

i didn't think i could fall any more in love with jon foreman.
and then i did.

last week the 'fading west' tour came through the twin cities...i had been waiting for this tour since getting back from california.
as we approached the venue i literally started getting nervous/excited which is so weird, it's not like i've never seen switchfoot in concert before. i mean, i wasn't even this type of nervous/excited when we stepped on moonlight beach for bro-am but for some reason i knew this was special.

the tour was something they had never done before, they showed the documentary that they have been filming over the past year and then played a (slightly) stripped down set.

first things first, the film. the boys in the band took a surf tour to australia, new zealand, south africa, and bali and documented their trip. the film showed them surfing some of the most gorgeous beaches, playing at huge festivals and in dingy bars, hanging out with new friends and old, and doing life together. with some bands i would be a little afraid of cameras following them around capturing the members in their completely unfiltered states...i would be afraid that they wouldn't be the stand-up people i hope they are. no need to worry with the switchfoot guys, they were so encouraging to one another and were living life with joy. they seemed to take in their experiences and radiated excitement. they truly love one another and it showed. and can't forget the part where they showed shots from bro-am! yes, the had footage from this years' bro-am in the film. I WAS IN THOSE CROWD SHOTS YOU GUYS. obviously, i pre-ordered the film. it comes in january.

second things second, the music. it was supposed to be an acoustic show but you can't take the rock out of a rock band so they did a couple of songs in true switchfoot style. the highlights of the music part of the night were when they sang 'learning to breath' and all gathered around one mic, completely unplugged and did 'needle and haystack life.' those moments really showcased their musicianship and they just plain owned them. in between songs they had people tweet questions at them that they then answered from stage. it was one of the most intimate-in-a-large-crowded-venue shows i have ever been to. one of the questions asked was "do you call your mom when you're on tour?" and tim responded that it's weird because on tour jon calls his mom (they're brothers). everyone laughed, jon laughed the hardest. it was those moments that so endeared me to them.

so i started the night completely in love with switchfoot and i ended the night even more in love with switchfoot. i think it's like when people have anniversary parties when they've been married for like a million years and one half of the couple says that they love the other half more now then the day they got married, like that.

xo

SBTS

i love knowing the story behind the song. it just gives the song more depth and even if i don't personally know the people involved in the story or haven't been in the same situation suddenly the song is so much more personal. knowing the writer's heart the moment they penned the words that will probably be stuck in my head on countless occasions and doodled on the edges of my notes during boring work meetings could probably be added to my list of favorite things. it's like seeing behind the scenes of a theater production, to some people it ruins the magic. to me, it makes it even more special.

i was just at a concert where the frontman shared the story that fueled a song of heartbreak.
apparently, after coming back from being out on tour the frontman was dumped by his girlfriend (as someone who has dreamed of marrying a rock star since she was 12 i find this completely unfathomable.) after he and his ex had been broken up for just a couple months he saw a picture of her on instagram wearing an engagement ring. ouch.

since then, i haven't been able to stop listening to the song. when the line, "a photograph is all it takes" i can't not imagine a picture of a girl complete with engagement ring. and when he sings "oh everybody knows i didn't want it end" my heart aches at his vulnerability.

if you wanna listen to the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KD_TnbPvOU

in response to the song i have crafted a short note to express my appreciation:

dear will anderson (frontman of parachute),
i'm sorry this girl broke your heart and flaunted her engagement on social media but i love the song that came out of your personal tragedy. thank you for sharing your story on stage and wearing your heart on your sleeve because yikes that has to be scary. also, i know this girl who would love to get coffee with you the next time you come through minneapolis (it's me.)
xoxo

xo

good girls don't make history.

miley cyrus.
time to throw my opinion into the ring since virtually everyone else has.

i think she's doing it right.
her video "tamed" came out a couple of years ago and everyone was wondering where sweet little miley went...now people are clamoring to get "tamed" miley back because that was only the beginning.

she released her mega-hit "we can't stop" which references drugs, sex, and a general lack of caring about what anyone else thinks with an equally racy (and in my opinion, completely tacky) video and people wouldn't stop talking about it.

she posed nude for a campaign to get people to take care of their skin. the photo, which leaves hardly anything to the imagination, was emblazoned on t-shirts and are available for sale. both her and her mom (kinda weird) were spotted wearing them. that's some good watering-hole fodder right there.  

she sang the chart-topper "we can't stop" on the vma's dressed in a bear-costume (which eventually came off), grinding up against a man 16 years her senior, turning a gigantic foam finger into male anatomy, sticking her tongue out at every opportunity and sounding pretty terrible considering the fact that she can actually sing. the buzz was huge, people are still talking about it.

she called a paparazzi a really bad word. an ugly word that shouldn't come out of anyone's mouth. instead of letting the press get ahold of that news and spin it how they wanted, she posted a tweet calling out what she had done and seeming rather proud of it. she was talking about herself.
 
just days ago she released a new video for her song "wrecking ball" where she is featured licking a sledgehammer in her underwear and then riding on a wrecking ball completely starkers. in the first twenty-four hours of the video being released she had 20 million hits. i imagine it will be the talk of tabloids, entertainment shows, and the chatter around the college campus where i work.

she is doing it right.

she wants to be talked about, and by golly, she is being talked about.
america loves a good trainwreck and she is doing a fantastic job at playing conductor.
there is a saying, "good girls don't make history" and miley, it seems, is bound and determined to be remembered.

i think she's a 20 year old who is making the mistakes most 20 year olds would make when given that amount of freedom, celebrity, and money. i think that someday she will seriously regret these choices she is making. i think she is a terrible role model for little girls and teenagers. i know i felt sad for her when i watched her vma performance. but she is doing exactly what the industry wants from her and (as much as we may say we don't) what we want from her. we may think she's trashy and goes way over the line and hate her choice of hairstyle at the vma's but we can't help but wonder what she's going to do next. at least i can't. i just hope that she realizes that she's better than that before the train completely derails.

xo

whiney post for a wednesday.

this past weekend a part of my heart heaved one big sigh and cried a single tear as i realized that i am becoming too old to creep.
i am not above admitting that i readily internet-stalk my favorite artists and really know more about them and their personal lives than i should. i am not above admitting that when i am at festivals i will go to the show of a dude who's band i couldn't give two cares about just because i think he's pretty. i am not above admitting having a shameless love for guys instead of men. yeah, there's a difference.
but now things are getting real.
see, now bands at festivals (they always were, i was just younger then so it was completely appropriate) ARE IN THEIR TEENS. i can't, in good conscious, creep on a 17 year old. i just can't do it. instead of thinking "mmmm, he's super attractive and probably wants to buy me fro yo," i now think, "oh cute, he's like 12 and actually pretty decent at guitar, how precious."
even bands where you think just maybe they are a little closer to my age and it wouldn't be weird at all to be friends....nope, they are still only 20 and act like they're 15.
one of the things that sucks the most about this revelation is that they are the up and coming bands that are playing on the stages that i appreciate most at festivals. i know the huge names on mainstage are often the ones that draw the masses but i love the smaller stages with the no-name bands where maybe you've heard one of their songs before but are pleasantly surprised (or perhaps left trying to find a way to gracefully walk away from the crowd of twelve people because you know they will notice one person leaving) by their set. those stages are the whole reason i get to brag and say that i saw and fell in love with mutemath, tfk, switchfoot, and others before they got wildly popular. but now standing by those stages makes me oh-so-very aware that i'm at the older end of the "millennial" age category. but self-awareness is a good thing, right?
it's not that i can't still appreciate the art they make or that i won't buy their album or go to their shows, it's just that now instead of playing 'which band member is the cutest?' you can't help but think that had you lived in the same town you probably would have been their babysitter.
i fear for the day i am able to say "i'm old enough to be your mother," and like to hang out at mainstage.

xo

where did summer go?

summer is coming to it's end and that always makes me sad. i love the freedom that summer represents. i love tank tops, shorts, and sundresses. i love fro-yo dates with friends and movies in the park. it's always a bitter taste when august wraps up.
however,
this year september holds some exciting moments that i am so looking forward to it almost makes me forget that another summer has come and gone.
lifelight will kick off the month in true south dakota style (if that's even a thing.) this will be the only music festival i get to this summer so i am determined to make it more than count even though i'm not super excited about the line up nor will i get to be there all three days.
then a week later parachute is playing at mill city nights. YES. the last two times they have come through minnie i haven't been able to go so i am pumped. i have what is known as a 'gigantic crush' on the lead singer. a few days ago a friend of mine went and saw them in north carolina and got a picture of her kissing my man on the cheek after the show. now i gotta one-up her...any ideas that don't turn me into a total groupie?
a week after the parachute show the band i manage (more on that in a different post) has their first show of the school year so hopefully there will be a killer turnout for that. if you wanna come they are playing at the depot in hopkins, mn!
then the following week the gentlemen of switchfoot are coming and bringing their documentary with them. it's the fading west tour and i.am.so.excited. my roommate already promised me that she won't make fun of me when i inevitably tear up during the showing of the film. i know i've said again and again and again how amazing i think jon foreman and company are but i just can't help but gush over them. and i know i just flew halfway across the country to see them but i JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH. don't judge me.
so yes, summer is over but this year it has more of a bittersweet taste to it.

xo

advice from a non-rock star.

a couple of blog posts ago i may have been a bit harsh on bands calling out all the things they do that are tacky. i'm really just trying to help them give a better show and gain more success as a band. really. i promise. that's all i'm doing. okay, maybe i'm also venting but let's just call it an 'everybody wins' post.
so i thought for this go 'round i would be a little more positive and just give my advice for bands how to make a live performance great and a show that will leave people telling their friends, "you've got to see them live!"
you don't need flashy production. yes, flames and moving stage pieces and crazy lights are fun and can make a show really engaging but you don't have to have that to have your audience totally captivated. all you have to do is play well (so yeah, you're gonna have to practice. a lot.), go for a little audience interaction, and genuinely love what you are doing.
1. play well. seems obvious but it's amazing to me the lack of preparation some bands have when going into playing a show. practice your butt off and when you're SO SICK of your own songs, play them again. get a set list and stick to it. especially important when you don't have a decade of touring under your belt. as a band you'll feel so much better about your set if you are all on the same page and know which song is coming next. just because somebody yells "freebird!" doesn't mean you have to try and play it.
2. audience interaction. saying "feel free to dance or clap if you are feelin' it" NEVER works. no one is ever going to start doing anything, even if they are super feeling it. audience mentality is sheep mentality. if you want everyone to start clapping, you have to start the clapping. if you want everyone to dance, you shake what your momma gave you on stage. if you want them to sing along (and they don't know your music) you have to teach them a part to one of your songs or cover a song they know. and don't forget to interact with each other while you're at it. i know it sounds like a lot of work but it is (or hopefully will be someday) your job so you should expect that it occasionally is work even if you love it....
3. and speaking of loving it....love those moments. you have 20 minutes (if you're an opener) to an hour (headliner) to show that audience your art. you probably wouldn't be in a band if you didn't love playing music and performing your music for an audience. if you're annoyed half of your set because the sound tech is struggling to get it right, or you and the drummer had a spat before the show, or you had to wear your second favorite shirt because your first favorite shirt smells like armpit your fans and future fans know. i'm not saying be fake but i am saying that the people in the crowd didn't pay money to come watch you mope or be a diva. you may just have to suck it up and leave your crap backstage...don't worry, you can pick it up again before you climb back into your van if you want. force yourself to remember why you wanted to do this in the first place.
4. don't be a tool and skip out right after the show if you can help it. sign some cd's, take some pictures, thank everyone for coming. make those fans feel like they're your friend.
obviously you don't have to take my word for it but i have gone to countless shows, both good and bad, as an audience member and maybe just maybe i've gleaned a pearl or two of wisdom in the abundant hours spent standing in a sweaty venue or dusty festival field.

xo

bro-am.

sand under my feet, ocean stretched before me, stage set up behind me, and countless attractive boys carrying surfboards all around me. 
i finally made it to switchfoot-fan mecca, a day known as bro-am. the day started at 7am with the rob machado bro-junior event (seriously, those little kids weren't even scared of the giant waves) and kept going all day with surfing, music, and sunburns.

THE jon foreman catching a wave! 

i know nothing about surfing...literally nothing...so the second i saw the switchfoot boys walk on the beach i completely stopped caring about the competition.
first chad walked up and upon spotting his family (they were already on the beach) he took off at a run and scooped up his daughter. she giggled like mad and i think my heart literally melted.
tim was the next switchfoot member to make an appearance. as he walked up the beach with his family chad's son ran over and gave tim's son a hug and there are few things cuter in the world than two little 6-7 year old boys hugging like they're grown-ups...i'm assuming they've seen their dad's greet each other this way and were just copying them but it doesn't change the fact that it was frickin' cute.
finally jon strolled up and walked like 5 feet in front of me and i internally fan girled so hard i'm surprised he didn't feel my stares and hear my internal monologue, "i just think you're so wonderful, and i love your songs, and look at you carrying a surfboard, and where are your wife and daughter?" not wanting to come across as the uber-fan that i am, i stayed at a safe distance all day. which means i didn't get to give him the tank top i had brought for him but it's probably for the best or i would have ended up gushing all over him about how great i think he is.
i just want to be his friend, ya know?
after hours of watching the surf competition (and stalking the band) it was nearing the time for switchfoot to begin. wandering over to the stage area of the beach we (my roommate who went with me) stopped by a trash can to survey the crowd for a place to sit/stand. as we were scouting out a good spot an older gentleman came up and said, "we're packing up to leave, would you ladies like our spot?" we agreed and he said to give them a couple minutes to finish packing up their stuff. three minutes later he motioned us over saying, "hurry and get in here before someone else takes the spot!" as we thanked him and made sure that it was okay that they were giving us their spot (we're minnesotan, it's what we do, okay?) he said, "it's fine, my son's the drummer, we've seen them a couple of times."
WHAT?
after taking a second to recover, i mumbled something like, "really?! we're huge fans" and he said, "me too" and walked off.
so maybe i still don't know anything about surfing and my purse still reeks of sunscreen and i didn't get to give jon the tank that he inspired but i DID get to meet chad's dad.

literally one of my favorite days of my life. 

xo

keep an eye out for the humblebrag.

in case you don't know me in real life and/or you haven't been overly invested in this blog (i mean, i don't know why you wouldn't be but i assume you have your reasons), i just want to let you know that i love jon foreman.

he's the lead singer of switchfoot and i just think he's quite incredible. 

this year the band is releasing a documentary about their lives and an album, both going by the title of "fading west." 

they just put out the trailer for the documentary and i literally teared up when i watched it. 

i don't know if it was the overflow of my love for the band (particularly it's frontman) or maybe it was the fact that they showed tim's (bassist) family, normally they very much keep their private life private. i am not sure what caused the tears but i can tell you, i will probably be a blubbering mess when i finally get to see the entire film. 

fingers crossed i'll get to see it on the beach in california at bro-am! (that was the humblebrag...did you catch it?)

if you feel like shedding a tear, here's the trailer:

xo 

tacky.

here are some things that bands do onstage that are tacky:

*maybe you're thinking that it's really cocky of me to assume that i know what's tacky and what's not but you know what? i have gone to a lot of concerts, so i'm pretty much a professional.

1. name dropping while pretending like it's nothing. hey up-and-coming band, that's really great that you got to work with stephen christian of anberlin but you don't need to try and impress us with that knowledge. or if you REALLY feel like you have to let us know he was a part of it, say it with a sense of awe and not like it's not a big deal.
2. saying how much it cost to make your album. yes it cost a lot of money, yes people don't pay for music anymore, yes i know it's how you make your living. most people have to invest something into their careers; painters buy brushes, canvases, and paint. cosmetologists buy ridiculously expensive scissors. teachers buy supplies/decorations for their classrooms. truckers buy their own trucks (sometimes). instead of trying to make me feel like i should buy it because you put a lot of money into it, put on an incredible show and make me want to buy it, i probably will. 
3. telling me how hard road life is. having hosted a few bands in my home i have seen first-hand that road life isn't glamorous. most band members miss their loved ones, are sleeping on uncomfortable pull-out beds, and haven't had a shower in a few days. but when you're onstage and i'm in the audience and you complain about how hard your life is, i kinda wanna kick you in the shin because i would give up diet coke (and that's saying something) to hit the road and live in that world. 
4. wearing your own merch. i get it, you wear the shirt, 15 year old in the crowd that wants to be just like you sees you wearing the shirt, they buy said shirt. it makes sense. i just don't like it. how about we get a little cross-promotion going on here and you wear another band's shirt? 
5. giving up. i'm sorry that only a few people made it to the show and the ones that did are giving you nothing back but you throwing in the towel makes me think you are more about the fame than you are the music. at least use this time as a glorified dress-rehearsal, try a new song out on us, sing an old song that you haven't sung in awhile, make the show more personal and intimate. if you are 'there' in that moment, i promise we won't care if you forget the lyrics to the old song or have to start the new song over because you forgot the chord progression...it will probably end up being the highlight of our night. 

if you're in a band and reading this and are a little offended just know, i only say these things because i love you. 

xo 

confidence killer.

one of my least favorite things in the world is to hear/see myself.
not because i don't think i'm great (honestly, i think i'm pretty alright, i would be my friend if i weren't me) but because i always look and sound different than i think i do. the saying of being your own harshest critic is true. it's weird, you perceive yourself one way and then you hear your voice on your voicemail because you had to call your phone from a friend's phone because you lost yours and all you can think is "DO I REALLY SOUND LIKE THAT?"
yes. yes you do. 
or you see yourself on a vine video that you didn't know your friend was taking and the only thought passing through your head the moment you see it is "DOES MY HAIR ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THAT?"
yes. yes it does.
i say all of this because i'm currently in the middle of working on an aircheck tape (radio jargon for a file containing segments from when you're on air, like an audible resume) and it's TORTURE.
to make the tape consists of me sitting and listening to past shows that i've recorded trying to find the parts where i sound the best/most witty/like a real dj. best ones make the cut. 
it's one giant ego check listening to yourself not be funny or eloquent. i wince over every talk-tick, every too-loud laugh, and every segment that clearly flopped. it is physically painful to hear myself screw up someone's name or the name of a song. i HATE it when i can hear myself breathing (it's one of the main reasons why i don't run)!
there will be one shining moment of "hey, that sounded pretty decent!" and those gems you hold onto so you can suffer through the cough into the mic and the part where you are pretty sure you were unintentionally doing an impression of the teacher in the charlie brown cartoons.
so why put myself through such a confidence killer? because it makes me better. because radio is really about getting music to people and becoming a better dj will enhance that experience.
as terrible as sitting and listening to myself for hours is at least i don't have to watch myself as well.

xo

#LITO

if you've followed my blog since the beginning (probably no one) or if you've gone back and read older posts (still probably no one) you might remember some of the stories...
remember how a couple of years ago i met a guy named jonathan thulin when i was judging a battle of the bands? you know, he was in a band and doing his own side project and then asked if i would be in his music video (where i ended up looking like a fool)?
remember how crown radio hosted a battle of the bands? remember how jonathan was there as a judge? and then at that battle he met the boys of harps & liars? maybe you'll remember that they won the battle and then met up with jonathan at his studio to talk music?
so you remember all of that, right?
well what i DIDN'T tell you was that while the harps & liars boys were at jonathan's studio they recorded some gang vocals for jonathan's band's (press play) upcoming album!
guess what? (sick of the questions yet?)
it has been released!
the song is called #LITO- love in the open.
the album, by the same name, is releasing in october of this year. they're asking for your help, they need you to upload pictures of yourself with what love means to you for their cover art and music video!
so if you've got a spare moment and a smart phone or camera or laptop with picture taking abilities do them a solid and send them a pic. who knows...maybe it will be your 15 minutes of fame!
if you've got a second spare moment, check out the song:
http://www.thisispressplay.com/
it's upbeat and dance-y! make sure you listen for the gang vocals of the harps & liars boys in the background!

xo

my babies are here....

...and they're beautiful.

thanks Ari for being my girl model

thanks JD for being my boy model

fingers crossed they'll let me get close enough to jon foreman to give him one!

xo

because i haven't talked about jon foreman enough lately.

it's summer y'all (well almost) and summer means tank tops!
my apparel line, heartsbeatlove, is putting out a small line of tank tops in just a couple of weeks. baller.
wanna know the fun part?
the tanks feature quotes by the one and only, jon foreman! (insert lovey-dovey eyes and stupid grin here)
almost two years ago i got in touch with mr. foreman, through switchfoot's merch guy- no lie, and got permission to use his quotes as long as a portion of the proceeds from sales went to stand up for kids, a non-profit helping end youth homelessness.
game frickin' on.
but then life got crazy and i got lazy and the game was put on hold.
but here we are, 22 months later, and my second round of babies are about to be born. ish, can you imagine legitimately being pregnant for 22 months?!
anyway, i can't wait to "meet" them!
i can't wait to try to get close enough to jon at bro-am to give him one.
i can't wait to share them with everyone.

if you want to see them when they arrive feel free to 'like' the heartsbeatlove Facebook page. you'll be able to see them there...and if you feel compelled to buy one you'll know when they're available and how to order one.

xo

unfamiliar territory.

the building was familiar.
some of the faces were familiar.
even my outfit was comfy and familiar.

i finally got to see paper route.

sounds like this was probably the most boring show ever, eh?  here's the kicker though, there were so many unfamiliar things and that made the whole experience so different. and so wonderful.

first unfamiliar: i wasn't expected to do anything. i wasn't working the show or associated with it in any way so i just went and got to soak up all the goodness without having to worry about having enough change at the merch table or having enough food in the green room or make sure all the bands have the correct equipment to do their job.
second unfamiliar: the building was a familiar one but it had been revamped since i had been there last...a higher stage, an extended bar, a different box office, a security guard patting everyone down outside the club making sure no one brought in contraband. it was weird.
third unfamiliar: in case you missed that one key sentence; I GOT TO SEE PAPER ROUTE. i have never seen them before...what? i tried to see them in nashville over a year ago but for whatever reason they didn't play and i was heartbroken. then they went out on tour with switchfoot and it wasn't coming to my city and i was, again, heartbroken. i seriously contemplated driving multiple states away to see it. then they went out with anberlin and that tour wasn't coming to minneapolis. you can practically hear my heart breaking at this point. but wait! they added more tour dates as the first leg of the tour de vital wrapped up and good ol' mpls was on the list for the second leg!
seeing a band live for the first time always makes me a little apprehensive, especially if i really enjoy their album. what if they suck live? what if they aren't captivating? what if i can't get over the fact that the lead singer is wearing a  hideous tie-dyed t-shirt? so many what-ifs!
there was no need for worry, the paper route boys were phenomenal. gavin mcdonald (drummer) was so into it he was standing behind his kit half of the time instead of sitting. chad howart (keys, bgv) did his thing and killed it on the hyper auto-tuned parts. jt daly (lead vocals) could best be described as "mad-scientist" on stage. he had such a unique presence, he kind of walked/pranced/danced all over the stage and then would hover over the synth creating otherworldly sounds and then would climb behind a spare trapset and play drums for a bit. maybe it was the bow tie that really gave him the scientist vibe but whatever it was, i enjoyed it. a lot. the entire 40 minute experience felt like you were watching something a little bit magical.
to avoid ruining the evening by letting my mouth take over i made sure to grab my merch when the PR boys weren't at the table. they escaped the evening unscathed.

xo

covers.

imagine you're in a dingy bar watching a band you don't know and have never seen before. you're there because your roommate thinks the bassist is cute and you're a good friend. you're a wee bit bored because, while the band is good, it's always harder to get into a show when you know zero songs that are being sung.
then it happens. the band strikes a chord and instantly you know the song and are completely engaged, it's time for a cover song. immediately you become simon cowell and mentally pick apart the cover compared to the original (and by "mentally" i mean you share every thought with your friend that drug you there in the first place.)

covers are tricky. the general feelings toward covers:

i want the band to keep the same melody so i can sing along but they have to change it up a bit so they don't sound like they're doing bad karaoke and let's be honest they are never going to live up to the original but if they can change it without changing it, really make it their own but keep the heart of the song...well i guess it will be okay then. if it bombs somewhere it's gonna be the vocals, the lead singer of the bar band just never quite measures up (at least in my humble opinion) to the lead singer of the band that won a grammy and a people's choice award for that same song but he's pretty good. at least the band got that one run almost perfect.

despite all of this, i love cover songs. i like hearing new renditions of old favorites, i like the new twists and musical surprises, and sometimes they are just great because they really highlight the talent of the band that put the song out in the first place. there are a lot, we're talking upwards of 30 here, of covers that i love (and watch/listen to regularly with the help of youtube) but i thought i would post just a few that require at least two listens through every time.

matthew mayfield, "fix you" by coldplay
the rocket summer, "blackbird" by the beatles
anthem lights, "we are never getting back together" by taylor swift

xo

battle of the bands. part II.

i promised the highlights from the battle of the bands, and here they are (because even though that last post was one big whining session it was actually a fantastic night):

• the bands did a great job. all of them. i was weirdly proud of them, like mom-proud. 
• the judges were fabulous, they were honest but encouraging in their critiques and were genuinely excited to be there. 
• the main room of the venue was perfect for the event despite the minor roadblocks we encountered at the beginning...and it looks legit in pictures.
• we had leftover food from the green rooms which i then proceeded to eat for the next week.
• my radio students were willing to do whatever needed to be done to help which made the event run as smoothly as possible.
• the mission team that was there raising funds for their trip raised about $200.
• two different bands won prizes: grand prize went to Harps & Liars and the audience choice prize went to Last Man Standing.
• as they were leaving, people were already talking about the next battle of the bands. at the moment i was like, 'slow down kids, we haven't even cleaned up from this one yet' but a week later i was ready for the next one.  

xo

battle of the bands. part I.

venue- check
bands- check
judges- check
green room(s) food- check
audience favorite prize- check
grand prize- check
artist/staff/judge lanyards- check

two weeks ago, this checklist was my life. crown radio hosted it's first battle of the bands, and like anything you plan in life, it didn't go off without a couple of hitches.

we arrived at the venue and no one seemed to know what was going on or that the battle was even happening there that night. the guy i had been arranging the whole thing with wasn't there and apparently didn't tell anyone when we would be arriving or what we would need from the venue. we were greeted with blank stares and a lot of work to get the place in the shape we needed. i really do think it would be the best use of my limited time to pick up and vacuum the entire main room before the event. oh, we should empty the trashes too? love to.

one of the green rooms ended up being a shared office with FIVE desks in it. really, sir? you think it's a good idea to have one of the green rooms be an already over-crowded office that has desks with personal belongings without even consulting the owners of those desks first? okay, no worries, we'll just move everything around to make enough space for four bands and radio staff to use it as well as hide all the personal affects of the desk owners so they don't get "misplaced" and then put it all back at the end of the night. sure, good plan.

the bands were supposed to arrive at 4pm for load-in and sound check, one of them didn't get there until 6:30. i understand that things happen, and you get stuck in traffic, and bands are notorious for being late but COME ON. we were scheduled to open the doors at 6:30 but you can't open the doors if one of the bands is just starting their sound check. they apologized to everyone in the pre-battle band meeting and i can't stay mad at a boy with a bull ring for long but it was frustrating and gave me what i believe to be the start of an ulcer.

we got started 20 minutes late, i hate being late.

okay, whining over.
i'll write about the great parts of the night soon....stay tuned! 

xo

more than just a good time.

i've written before about how i think artists in the industry are doing it wrong. how they say one thing and do another. how they portray themselves in one light and are really living in the dark.
this post is the exact opposite.
this is one artist who i think is doing it right.
he isn't even in the "Christian" industry and he is more outspoken in his interviews and on his blog than a vast majority of the Christian artists out there.
so in this post i tip my proverbial hat to mr. adam young...better known as, owl city.

who didn't love "fireflies" when it came out? it was a new sound for pop radio, it was ethereal, and it rocketed owl city onto the music scene. there was nothing in the lyrics that said he was a Christian and nothing offensive to anyone in any way. his entire ocean eyes album was pretty imaginative and brought you into this fantasy world mr. young had created.

just before the release of all things bright and beautiful (owl city's sophomore release) there was a blog post that showed a side that the average listener and fan may not have known about the quiet frontman. adam had taken the beloved song, "in christ alone," recorded it and tossed it up on his blog. it was linked by hundreds (if not thousands) on facebook, twitter, and was played on many a radio station, including the one i work for. suddenly, adam's faith had been thrust into the forefront and he didn't shy away from it at all.

in interviews he said that he was a Christian and quoted Scripture, he tweets Bible verses, his sophomore album had a song that sang, "dear God, you're the only north star i would follow this far." on his last tour he partnered with the salvation army for their "rock the red kettle" movement, stopping in almost every city along the way to volunteer his time and energy in the stores and sorting rooms and using his celebrity (via youtube videos) to help their cause. and i get that you can't ever truly know anyone else's heart and tweeting John 3:16 doesn't make you a super Christian but you can tell when it's authentic and when it's a show. i get the feeling that, with adam, it's genuine.

do i think adam young is perfect? no.
do i think he's doing a better job than a lot of Christian artists at living out his faith? yes.
he isn't afraid, of what label might be put on him or how it may affect his career. and that's an example we can all learn from.

xo

a first.

so i added a band recently to the radio playlist that i really enjoy.
the song is this great kind of rock that is a little arena and a little progressive.
the band is called pioneer.
here's the catch...
i can't remember if i have seen them live.
i think i have but i can't for the life of me remember clearly.
i even creeped on pictures of them online.
nothing.
i blame it on turning 27.

xo

2013.

"so this is the new year, and i don't feel any different" -death cab for cutie

as i quickly approach my 27th year of life (ie. my birthday) i can't lie, i still feel like i'm 22. so naturally my resolutions for the year mirror that "i do what i want" attitude of most 22 year olds:

• learn to play guitar- i'm sick of the fact that taylor swift is living my life.
• put out a second line of shirts- i've had jon foreman's permission to use his quotes for a year and a half and i've been too lazy to do anything about it.
• get to california- bro am, ellen, a really rad zoo, tmz bus tours.
• sing karaoke- just waiting on cody and adam.
• see one of the concerts that i missed last year- take your pick: switchfoot, needtobreathe, mat kearney, mute math, paper route, etc. 

what are your resolutions???
cheers to 2013.

xo