you don't know unless you try.

sometimes you have to do things that scare you. how do you grow if you never do anything that makes you nervous? how do you know what you're capable of if you never push yourself? how do you reach your full potential if you don't give it a good old-fashioned try?
so i am going to be doing something that scares me witless.
something that makes my insides flip.
you know that feeling where you're pretty sure you're going to pass out, or throw up, or maybe both at the same time?
that's what singing in front of people does to me.
but i am going to do it.
i have enlisted the help of a friend who plays guitar and sings ("band" is his day job so he's real used to being onstage and in the spotlight) so i won't be flying completely solo. we are going to be doing obscure covers and christmas songs.
so mark your calendars: dec. 15th @ silverwood park cafe.
here's to doing scary things.

xo

if you're a five iron fan i would suggest not reading this post.

as a lover all music there isn't much i don't like but there is one genre that i can't really stand. it's called ska.
never got into the supertones, the insyderz, the w's, or five iron frenzy.

horns and guitar= i don't like.

as many people know five iron recently did a kickstarter and got back together. the hearts of all the used-to-be-awkward-teens-now-mid-twentysomethings cheered.
so they put out an album (or maybe they're still working on it??? i don't know, again, i really don't care for ska) and booked a couple of shows. much to the delight of a couple of my roommates, one of their scheduled shows was at lifelight. yay.

one of the most intruiging things about five iron frenzy is that their frontman, reese roper, refuses to sign anything. he says he doesn't want it to be about him, he wants it to be about God.
well that's wonderful, i say!
but here's the catch: he is a COMPLETE showboat onstage. i caught a good portion of their show at lifelight and here are just some of the "God-glorifying" antics that happened during that show:

-he just ran circles around and around the trapset
-someone threw a potato onstage, he took a huge bite and spit it on the front row
-he ripped the head off a pinata with his teeth

the entire show seemed to be all about reese roper. i actually can't even remember if he mentioned God, or Jesus, or even loving people at all. maybe he did, but it was in passing and completely outshined by flying potato and the fact that you could tell he was totally winded because he isn't 25 anymore and hasn't toured in years.

i'm all for crazy stage antics and having a good time and putting on a great show (not that i think spitting food on a crowd is a great show but you get my point) but then don't turn around and say that you won't sign the the t-shirt you are selling for profit because it's really all about Jesus when ten minutes ago it was clearly all about you. i wouldn't even care as much if he didn't sign if the whole set was filled with worship music, prayer, and words that truly brought attention to the Lord but to be a complete attention-hog onstage and then refuse to sign afterwards is totally bull.

i'm sure in person reese is a real nice guy. i heard he had a big hand in a church plant. i truly believe that he does care about lost souls.

but cut the crap, reese, and sign a dang poster.

xo

14 years in the making.

phil joel touched my shoulder.
eek!
i know as a 26 year old i should not be so enamored with a married father of 2 but the man captured my heart with flowing locks and bass when i was 12 and when i fall, i fall hard.
so take the adoration from my 12 year old self and fast forward to lifelight 2012. my first love was playing multiple times on multiple stages. jackpot. terra (a friend who knows more of my secrets than i am comfortable with) and i hit up the coffee house show with some friends who are considering starting a side-project band called, 'phil joel's lips'.
the show was intimate and incredible. peter furler joined phil for a couple songs, playing the drums and singing backup. two men who seemed untouchable to me as a teenager were suddenly 20 feet from me with nothing but a strategically placed folding table as a barrier.
after the show phil graciously decided to do an impromptu meet and greet right then and there.
this.was.my.chance.
i got in line with nothing for him to sign but a question that i wanted to ask. see, he was playing a late night worship session later that night and in all the times i have seen him play i have never heard him play his song, "resolution" (track 10 off his sophomore album, 'bring it on'). while it's not really a worship song i just wanted to know if he was going to play it during the worship session because i love it and it could be worship-y.

the next band was warming up/soundchecking and it was getting difficult to converse, this is how the conversation went:
phil: hello.
me: hi. i was just wondering if you were going to play "resolution" tonight?
phil: (leans in and places his hand on my left shoulder) i'm sorry, what?
me: i was just wondering if you were going to play "resolution" tonight?
phil: (blank look) that's a fun song, huh?
me: (puzzled) yeah....so you're not planning on playing it then?
phil: no, i don't think i have ever played that song.
me: (super puzzled) okay? (smiles, walks away).

clearly, he had no idea what i was talking about or the fact that i was talking about a song that he, himself, had penned. it hurt my heart a little. i just had the most un-magical encounter with a fellow i had wanted to meet for years. i wanted him to say, "well i wasn't planning on playing that but i will. just for you, sara." maybe we'd hug and become facebook friends. but all i got was confusion and a blank stare.
well that and a shoulder touch.

xo

fun.

i really appreciate fun.
i'm talking the band here. i mean, i appreciate having fun as well but the band fun. is quickly becoming a consistent spin in my car to and from work. the album is made up of a ton of different sounds but is still wonderfully cohesive. it's delightful.
one song, however, breaks my heart every time it plays.
track 9.
one foot.
the second verse goes a little something like this:

I happened to stumble upon a chapel last night
and I can’t help but back up when I think of what’s happens inside.
I got friends locked in boxes and no way to live.
But you call it a sin isn’t up to them.
After all, I thought we were all Your children.
But I will die for my own sins thanks a lot,
we’ll raise up ourselves thanks for nothing at all.
So get up off the ground for our fathers who are nothing but dust now.

i fear it was christians who hurt the writer of such sad lyrics, not Christ. i am afraid it was a well-meaning christian who condemned rather than loved. who pointed fingers instead of extending grace. who felt it was their place to judge in order to save when saving isn't our job in the first place. maybe i'm wrong. i hope i am.
one thing i do know is that i feel compelled to pray for them whenever i hear "one foot."
i will probably never meet them but i hope that someone who meets them is able to show them the true face of Christ.
'cause you can't raise yourself up, fun.

xo

word vomit. it never ends.

so i know the last post claimed wisdom with age but apparently age doesn't create a filter (i'm telling you, the fact that i've been alive 26 years makes zero difference). here are two more short stories of the times i've said idiotic things to boys holding instruments:

the classic crime just came through town  first time in two and a half years. their new album came out and i just absolutely love them. i literally walked into matt macdonald (lead singer) on my way into the club but managed to just smile and say, "hi." i thought to myself, "woohoo you didn't embarrass yourself, win!" and then went on to enjoy the show. after the show i was standing around chatting with a friend and mr. macdonald came out onto the floor. we made eye contact and because of some disorder in my brain, BAM, word vomit. it started off alright and then quickly went downhill, "thanks for writing songs that matter. also, maybe this sounds really fan girl but i just love your blog and think you have really great things to say. sorry, you can go sign stuff for people now." it's like i have no clue what social appropriateness is. he was kind enough to at least pretend to be touched by my words and thanked me for reminding him that he needed to blog again.

this next story is almost worse because i have met this fellow before and he lives in the same state as i do and we have some mutual friends. oh yeah, and i sang gang vocals on his cd. but i don't really know him. so a few weeks back i went to the summertime dropouts concert. after the show i promptly walked up to the bassist, we'll call him steve, and said, "this probably isn't appropriate to say to a twenty-something year old dude but i just think you're real precious." and the fact of the matter is, i can't deny any part of that. i can't deny that i said it and i can't deny that i think it's true. i do think he's precious. he responded by saying that he'd never been called precious before and that his daddy didn't raise no punk, which was ironic since he's in a pop-punk band.

xo

older and wiser.

in past years my summers have been filled with music festivals (generally between 3 and 4), this year i have attended one day of one festival.
ashamed.
i mean, i made it count. i watched multiple shows, including some bands i hadn't seen before. i got ridiculously sunburned. i sang my little heart out. but i still only went to one day when in years past i would have given my front teeth to be there the entire time.
now i wasn't exceptionally bothered by this until i got a text from a friend basically calling me old. i texted said friend during the switchfoot show because we have a long history of a mutual love of switchfoot (literally one day during lunch in high school we talked about one song the entire hour). i gave my friend guff for not being there and friend responded by asking if i was in the pit. i said i was down front but by the soundboard, not in the way-front getting elbowed by 14 year old girls. the text back, "yeah, we're not made for that anymore."
i wanted to be mad. i wanted to argue. i wanted to say something snarky and prove my friend wrong by shoving myself to the front. but truth of it is, my friend is right. i would now much rather be able to hear and see the show as opposed to fighting to keep my spot the whole time while i'm face-to-sweaty-armpit with some tall dude who doesn't realize (or maybe he just doesn't care) that i can't see a blasted thing. and it's a pretty great thing being able to leave a show knowing that if you're sweaty, it's only your sweat on you.
so as we come upon the end of the summer and the final festivals of the season you'd better believe that i'm going to the entirety of lifelight in south dakota. i will soak up all the music i have missed out on this summer. i will give a solid attempt at getting some fading summer sun before the cold winter greys rear their frigid head. and i will sing until my throat is raw.
you can find me back by the soundboard.

xo

i'm a writer?

i have never once thought of myself as a writer...despite the fact that i have this trusty little blog here. maybe it's because i never had a diary that i wrote all my secrets in as a melodramatic teen? maybe it's because i never got to write about the stuff i actually cared about in school? when i went on internship and had to keep a journal of my experiences it dang near killed me.
but one of the most fun (and challenging) things i have gotten to do recently is write.
weird, huh?
the end of last year i thought it would be just fantastic if i were able to contribute somehow to a music website. i frequent a few different sites often looking for news on bands for the radio. so i emailed the head of one of those sites asking if they needed any help or if there was anything i could do. he responded saying they needed more album reviewers. i said, "sounds great!" so for the past few months i have been reviewing albums and writing my "professional" opinion about them.
it has been a ton of fun: i've gotten the chance to hear new albums before they are released and when the album is awesome it's super easy to write about.
it has been super challenging: critiquing an album is not as easy as one might think. and i know musicians develop a think skin but it still isn't easy to be the one that says, "this kinda sucks."
if you care at all to see the reviews (and one interview, woot) that i've done, all my reviews are stored here: http://www.indievisionmusic.com/reviews-by-author/?reviewauthor=9295   
OR
if you just want to keep up-to-date on what's happening in the christian music world make sure to check out www.indievisionmusic.com on a regular basis...it's got good stuff!

xo