not a real blog post. or. the places my mind wanders.

i sat down to write and my mind couldn't focus. i tried to write something funny. or something meaningful. or something quasi-thematic. and i ADD'd out before i could even get an idea formed.

so here's a sneak peek into my brain and the things i can't stop thinking about long enough to write even a half-cracked blog post: 

this quote. i cannot stop mulling over this quote. a friend of mine put it up on her instagram the other day and i must have read it at precisely the right moment because it lodged itself squarely into my heart and mind. broken people make up the Church. we are those broken people and because of grace we have hope. we are never too far gone for God to reach us and use us. that's some beautiful Truth right there.

being a proud minnesotan, if i'm going to go to a coffee chain caribou is my choice. and right now i have a 1/2 off drink in my perks account that expires today and i really want to go get a drink but it's already afternoon and i don't know that it's the wisest idea. maybe decaf shots in that iced white mocha that's calling my name? 

these two cutie pies are my nephews and they cross my mind daily. mostly because my siblings send pictures of them in our family group text on the reg but also because i luff them. and they're coming to visit so soon! like this week and next week soon. can't wait to hold, squish, and love on 'em. 

why do we dream what we dream? is it just our subconscious sorting out information we've taken in? is it stuff our imaginations have created? is it what we hope for? or the things we fear most? is there any stock in dreams? do they mean anything? can i just pick and choose which dreams i would like to come true? question after question after question about dreams running around in my little noodle.

a guy. yep, being super girly here. but you know what? i am a girl and i feel like i can't be blamed that a handsome fella keeps popping himself into my wandering mind. we aren't dating. but i am harboring what middle schoolers refer to as a crush. he's a christian, a musician, and he owns a motorcycle. if he wants to adopt he's basically the hypothetical dream guy i tweeted about years ago. there's no way i'm putting a picture of him on here though because that seems like a really great way for him to find this  post and then learn about this silly crush and that sounds like the type of thing that would make me want to crawl in a hole and die. i'm not good with emotions and vulnerability.

those are the reasons i find myself unable to construct a blog post that is coherent or interesting or well thought-out, etc. the reasons my mind is spinning but mostly just in circles, going nowhere. if you've got any great insight into any of these things, the quote, the coffee dilemma, compliments on how cute my nephews are, the multitude of dream questions, or the boy...hit me with it.

xo

"the year of sara"

i have been caving a lot as of late.

i caved and got an instagram and then i caved and got a spotify. i wasn’t all “streaming services are of the devil” but i generally prefer to own my music. and not even just ‘own’ it, i like to have a physical copy. i promise it’s the only thing i hoard. 

there’s just something about holding an album and liner notes that makes me downright gleeful. 

but it’s hard to switch out cd’s while i’m sitting at my desk and not look like a total dork. not only that, cd's take up a ton of space and i moved from my own office to basically having just a desk so space is at a premium. no more bookshelf full of albums for me to rotate through = jumping on the streaming services bandwagon.

so i signed up for spotify because how else am i going to listen to jeremy loops at work? no one is playing him on the radio! (shame on you, radio.)  

as a former radio dj there’s no way i can’t not make a few playlists. that used to be my daily existence, making playlists, it’s in my blood. 

but i didn’t want to make a playlist just for the sake of making a playlist so my first playlist is dedicated to all of the fantastic artists that are coming to my city that i am seeing live and in person in the year 2015. my roommate says 2015 is “the year of sara” because it’s ridiculous how ALL of my favorites are coming through this year. ALL of them. every last one. i would tell her to stop but it’s true, 2015 is proof that God loves me a lot. 

as you listen (if you choose to listen, if you choose to not listen then i don’t know why we are even friends) take a second to stop and be jealous that i get to see all of these incredible artists this year. i know, i can barely believe it myself. 2015 is so fabulous my heart is on the verge of exploding...all the time.

i won't make you wait any longer, here it is in all it’s glorious wonder. close your eyes and drink it in deep my friends, that’s the sound of all of my loves coming together in one place for an hour (or so). if you’re having trouble picturing all of the awesome, let me know and i can send you a slideshow with all of their faces. 

xo

the best way to kiss summer goodbye.

it's that time of the year.
days are getting shorter, the air is becoming thin and crisp, hot coffees are being chosen over iced coffees, and i am pretty sure my tan is already fading. summer is coming to an end. *sob*

the real clincher that my favorite season is almost over is the start of the minnesota state fair. and the wonderful 'great minnesota get together' starts tomorrow.

so instead of crying over the spilt milk that is the completion of another summer i'm planning on how my days (yeah, i'm going twice, don't judge) at the state fair are going to be filled.

food is obviously at the top of my list. we (and by "we" i mean minnesota) are known for having our fried foods on sticks but most of my favorites are more finger foods.

cheese curds are a MUST even if it means the next day it will feel like i swallowed a bowling ball that is just sitting in my gut. they are my favorite. 

my second favorite is deep fried pickles. but they have to be the slices of pickles not the spears. i'm particular about my deep fried pickles. 

i'm really hoping someone i go with decides to get a deep fried candy bar because those things are bomb but i can only eat like one bite before tapping out. 

mini-donuts are one of my mom's favorites so we always got them when i was a kid and now they are a fair staple for me. nostalgia wrapped up in a sugary little dough ring. 

in a vain attempt to pretend i'm healthy i usually get some sort of wrap or something. it's not fooling anyone, i know. 

my day is not complete without an iced coffee. because i love iced coffees and when it's hot (like it usually is at the fair) and you've walked miles there's nothing like a cold shot of caffeine. 

and then depending on who i'm there with i usually steal a couple of their fries, a sweet martha's cookie or two, a bite of corn on the cob, a drink of their milkshake, and a handful of cinnamon roasted almonds. we literally just eat all day.

in between eating we check out the barns, the 4H exhibits, the butter busts of the dairy princesses, the grandstand building (where i drool over all the minnetonka moccosins), the DNR pond (because why not), the bazaar, the midway, at least one random horse show or something in the colliseum, and then usually we hit up the leiny lodge stage for some free entertainment. 

AND THIS IS WHERE THIS BLOG GETS REALLY EXCITING: 

my boy, andy grammer, is playing the free stage this year! not once, but twice! i'm only going to see him once though because he's playing back-to-back days and i can't eat that much food two days in a row. but he just released a new single and it's got summer anthem written all over it which helps me ease into fall. listen to it now! DO IT.

i may be kissing summer goodbye but this is one of those kisses that lingers. i just made that weird. whatever. yay the fair! 

xo

tour stories: showing up late...trying to leave early...

since i had virtually no time to blog before tour i didn't even get to talk about going late and the reason why.

i missed the first show of tour but i had a completely legitimate reason. the show of my dreams was going to be in my town and i bought tickets MONTHS ago (like before i had even applied for my current job) and nothing was going to keep me away. switchfoot and needtobreathe were going to be on stage together. magic. colony house was one of the openers and that was just the cherry on top in my little world. the show was at an outdoor plaza on friday, july 24th and it was balls-hot but that didn't matter to the couple thousand people that had gathered. the show was beautiful and when they all got on stage together to sing "brother" it was everything i had hoped it would be. 

the only disappointing part of the night was that i had to catch an early flight so i couldn't stay for jon foreman's after-show. it broke my little heart but it was actually the one time i made a halfway wise decision concerning sleep. can't start out tour completely drained.

*fast forward 2 weeks*

before tour started i had made arrangements to leave a day early and miss the final show. again, there was another concert that i already had tickets for...there are always concerts i have tickets for. 

anyway, it wasn't until the day before i was supposed to fly out that i realized i was going to miss my plane. see, the last leg of the tour had some very long drives that usually resulted in us getting to the venues very late in the morning. i had scheduled my flight out of memphis (the last stop) for 10:45am. we were driving from houston to memphis and we were not going to make it. 

i tried to find tickets out of houston but the cheap ones were all sold out and as much as i wanted to make the show spending $750 dollars on a one way ticket was just too ridiculous to even think about. so i missed it. i missed go fest and ended up sweating my butt off at the memphis show and then riding the bus home to minnesota.

silver lining: i got one more night in my fabulous little bunk. i frickin' loved my bunk. (there's a picture of my bunk on my instagram if you want to see how rad it was).

xo

xo

tour stories: tattoos.

this tour wasn't exactly what you'd think of when you think of 12 tour busses criss-crossing the country with a dozen shows and over a hundred thousand screaming fans. let's just say it wasn't sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. it was more prayer, coffee, and worship.

one thing, however, was so rock 'n' roll it brought tears to my eyes.

i ran back to the bus quick to grab something from my bunk. as i was pulling my little curtain back into place the bus door opened and on walked one of my coworkers and a very-tattooed man. after a quick introduction i learned that this inked fella was one of the best friends of my coworker; not only was he there to visit his bro, he had brought his gun and ink with him. and was willing to tattoo anyone on the bus. for just tips.

it was like a dream.

so he got his stuff set up and a crowd had gathered on the bus (thank you technology and group texting) to watch it all go down. i sat there as one of my bosses was getting his tattoo and said to whoever was sitting next to me (if it was you, sorry, i don't remember, i was just so in awe of the moment) "this is exactly what i want a tour bus to be."

my turn was coming up and i realized that the printer (to make the stencil) wasn't on the bus but in the girls' dressing room in the venue. i wanted the outline of minnesota on my left-side rib-cage and the tattoo artist was from tennessee and couldn't freehand an accurate looking minnesota. so i booked it into the venue. only to get a phone call on my way in that my help was needed. by the time i was finished with what i was doing it was time for me to start my job for the night. my dreams of getting a tattoo on a tour bus were dashed. like a glass slipping through your fingers, shattering on the floor.

okay, maybe not that dramatic but the whole night i was a little blue about the fact that i didn't have a fresh new tattoo. like, legitimately sad that my side didn't feel like it was very recently sunburnt.

that tattoo will happen though, gotta show the home state a little body-art love. i will make sure to show it off once it's permanent.
xo

tour stories: meeting my nephew

i was so excited when i learned that one of our days off on tour would be in nashville. i lived in nashy for a year and my sister and her family still live there so i'm a big fan of that overgrown town.

a couple of weeks before tour my sister had a baby. my entire family went down to see her and meet him except for me. so i was jazzed to meet little bo!

we had a show date in nashville and then the next day was our day off in nashville so on show day my sister and the newest little addition to my family met me at bridgestone arena and we went to lunch. he's such a tiny little peanut! we only got to hang out for like an hour before i had to get back to work but lunch was delicious and the company was the best!

i was fresh outta the shower but he didn't care.

i actually don't think he cared about me at all. 

then the next day my sister picked me up for a day of hangs. we grabbed coffee, did some thrift shopping (i found nothing, it was really tragic), had a baby photo shoot, played with her pups, and went to dinner. i'll let the pictures do the talking. *i have pictures from this day because i was taking pictures on my actual camera as opposed to my phone*

 bubbles after little man's lunch.

 such a hunny.

 i just love that she looks like she laughing.

 this little mutt is my favorite of my sister's pups. her name is sodo and i 

consistently want to steal her. 

we would be such a good team.

pretty sister, handsome nephew. content.

and this one. because he looks like a crabby old man,

"get off my lawn!" 

it was a good day.

xo

tour stories: first impressions

i don't know if you're a huge worship music fan or not (i'm actually not so much so if you aren't either, no judgment) but the tour i was a line up of worship artists. probably a really great tour for me to be on because i didn't fangirl at all. i had heard of all of the artists before the tour but, unless i had sung their songs in church, didn't know any of their bodies of work. however, just because i wasn't madly in love with these artists before hitting the road doesn't mean i didn't care at all about the impression that i made.

turns out, i make terrible first impressions.

joel houston: my first night on the tour. after the show i went to the venue bathroom to get ready for bed. as i was walking out of the bathroom in my pj's, face scrubbed free of make-up, hair in a top knot, i ran directly into joel houston of hillsong. and instead of apologizing like a normal human i said something like, "hhhrrrfgfffgh." i didn't talk to him at all the rest of tour. i'm sure he was crushed.

kari jobe: i had just gotten off the bus in the morning and was trying to make my way to the restroom. the green room/dressing rooms were on the opposite side of the venue and you had to walk behind the stage to get to them. normally not a problem but they were just getting the stage set up and there was rigging everywhere. somehow both kari and i ended up in some weird back hallway just trying to get to the other side. again, in my pj's, morning breath, bleary eyed, and lost. talked to her later again on the tour and she didn't remember meeting me so i'm hoping that means i clean up okay. also, she's pregnant and i'm told pregnancy brain is a thing. or she just didn't care about me. whatever.

photographer joe: it was an afternoon and i ran back to the bus to grab something from my suitcase. all luggage is stored in the bay of the bus so i opened the bay and pulled my bag to the ground. as i am bent over, zipping it open a shadow falls across my giant box of tampons that are lying on the top. joe, hillsong's photographer, is looking down at me. he kindly tells me (in a beautiful australian accent to boot) to be careful not to hit my head on the door of the bay because it really hurts when you do that. thanks for the advice pal, can you maybe tell me that next time when i'm wearing a cute outfit, am not drenched in sweat, and don't have my feminine products in sight?

todd: it was during one of the shows and i was up in the concourse. i had just left the restroom (i really have no idea why so many of these stories seem to revolve around the bathroom, i swear i don't go more than the average person) and was passing by an entrance to the arena. all of a sudden he just appeared and said, "i haven't met you yet, i'm todd." i said, "hi, i'm sara. so what are you doing on the tour?" he replied, "i play keys in passion." and that's when i wanted to die. i mumbled something about not having seen any of the show and then made strained conversation the entire length of the concourse. added bonus to this story: i had made awkward eye contact with him the day prior while he was lifting weights. like the kind where you make eye contact and you both look away and then you both look back at the same moment awkward.

i swear, you'd think i'd grown up having never interacted with anyone.
xo

tour stories: tour casualty

oh hey!
sorry for the complete radio silence while i was on tour. i had the best of intentions to write while i was on the road but those were some LONG days and by the time i made it to my bunk at night i couldn't keep my little peepers open long enough to get anything written down. shame.

but i'm back now and i'm going to do a mini-series of tour stories because who doesn't love a behind the scenes look?

waking up in a new city each day is exactly as much fun as it sounds (shoutout to our bus driver, ben)! one day you're in north carolina and then you wake up and you're in louisiana and it's trippy and fantastic. my favorite mornings were the days i woke up before we got to the venue and i got to see some of our beautiful country rolling by out the bus windows...which was great because a few of the days we didn't see anything but the venue.

houston was one of those stops. we got in late because we were coming from tulsa (and that's a real long drive you guys) so we basically hopped right off the bus and got straight to work. we only had a few hours before doors opened and there's a ton to do to get everything set up. i mean no hate to houston but it was a rough stop. we got in late, the buses had to park like 6 blocks from backstage, and it was approximately a million degrees outside.

i had gotten almost everything set up that i needed to do when i realized i had left 6 boxes on the bus that i needed. frick. i did not want to make that trek more than once, remember it was blocks away and in the sweltering heat, so i sweet talked a dude into letting me borrow a flatbed cart so i only had to make one trip.

i was wearing leggings (no pockets) so i tossed my phone on the cart and put my backpack on top of my phone and wheeled it to the loading dock. the big door had been shut so i couldn't get outside. i walked away from my cart to find someone to open the door for me. i found someone and walked back to the cart, when i got there i picked up my backpack to put it on and my phone was missing.

um, what?

yeah, my phone was gone. obviously i started searching everywhere assuming that someone had taken it because i knew i hadn't put it in my backpack (i know, i'm a complete idiot). the backstage manager saw me frantically digging through my bag and asked what was wrong. i told him my phone was missing and he said, "let's go check at security." so we walked over and there it was. my phone! and the screen was completely obliterated.

i'm not going to lie to you, i cried. houston was the second to last stop of the tour; i was hugely overtired, i was incredibly hormonal (tmi? too bad.), i was really sick of sweating, and i'm the cheapest person alive and all i could think about was having to buy a new phone. i tried to pull it together but i was just done in that moment.

i tell you this so A) you'll feel sorry for me and B) so you know why these tour blogs will have virtually no pictures or will have pictures that i've stolen from someone else. i took a few (and there are some on my instagram: @iamstoriesofagirl) but unless the verizon store can pull them off my phone-turned-literal-piece-of-trash i'm completely out of luck.

thanks for sticking with me, more soon!
xo