the dull, beat up penny.

it's 10:30pm and i'm sitting in a random bedroom in a stranger's home in north dakota. i've got a cold that makes it hard to breathe and has me hoping i don't leave snot in my elbow crook every time i sneeze. oh, and i have cramps (sorry for the overshare, i've been alone for a couple of hours).

there is actually nowhere else i'd rather be right now than in my sweats, curled up in a blanket, on my own couch, with some cookie dough ice cream.

i, no joke, just described my last sunday night to you. and while it was good great in the moment i'm sure if you had offered me the chance to go on a road trip while i was on my sofa happily expanding my waistline i woulda been like "screw this made-for-tv-movie i'm watching, let's hit the road!"

we all know that the grass really isn't greener on the other side but that doesn't stop us from wishing for other pastures.

as a self-professed dreamer (um hello, i'm an ENFP and my number one strength according to strengths finder is futuristic) being content is hard. painfully hard. i'm always thinking about the next; the next place to live, the next job to have, the next company to try and start, the next boy to fall in love with, the next vacation to take, the next.... it's never ending. it makes living in the here and now seem like a dull, beat up penny while the next seems like a shiny, new penny. and let me tell you, a cold and cramps definitely feels like a dull, beat up penny.

but both spend the same, a penny is a penny. your life is what you have right now and i'm pretty sure i read somewhere that we aren't promised tomorrow (james 4:14). it is also in a line from a top 40 song on the radio. the song is good but the book is better.

i know i've written about this before but it's because it's something i need reminding of often. i'd hoped to have a job where i would get to travel, and guess what? i do! granted, this time it's just to my neighbor state of north dakota but i've gotten to see some pretty rad places thanks to my job. even north dakota has held a few surprises!

so i need to stop living for the next. i'm definitely still going to dream (it's who i am) but i'm going to consciously try to be better at living in the moment. because at the moment i'm in my pj's in a big, comfy bed, texting my friends and family, and listening to mike birbiglia's stand-up online which is really not a bad place to be.

xo