milestones and sexy jams.

my friends and i recently celebrated a pretty big milestone.

we've worked at it for months.
we've put time, money, and sweat into it.
we've gained some and lost some along the way.

we hit our one year anniversary of hot tub club.

that's right, we've officially been a club for one year! 12 months of hanging out, eating snacks, playing games, and making people question what type of friends we are when we say we're in a thing called hot tub club. the married couple in the group had their baby! our favorite redhead moved to taiwan! 3 of us in the group have gotten new jobs! 1 of the guys got a promotion! we've had a lot of change and done a lot of life in the last year and we've had the privilege of living it together.

we had our anniversary celebration over valentine's day weekend complete with more food than you can shake a stick at, some festive love-y decorations, and a pretty killer playlist if i do say so myself. i say it because i made the playlist and my roommate named it sara's sexy hot tub jams. i recommend listening to it the next time you need a quality pick-me-up...just make sure if you're in your office you listen to it with headphones on, there may be track or two or three that aren't exactly suitable for work.

and a party wouldn't be complete without some poorly shot group photos!

1 year of hot tub friendship! love these beautiful souls. 

because who doesn't want to see geoff's hairy, wet legs on display? 

we may not be the coolest but we have some of the best fun.

xo

story behind the song: thinking out loud

i was pretty disappointed with the grammys this year overall...i thought majority of the performances were boring and/or bad and went on way too long, i didn't really get any of the tributes, and seemingly everything that everyone on the internet was freaking out about, i was like, meh. it was kinda a bust in my personal opinion. i wasn't even head over heels for or completely disgusted by any of the fashion choices which is always something i love to nitpick.

one part i was super stoked about, though, was ed sheeran winning song of the year for thinking out loud. i've loved the song from first listen and i've watched the music video no less than 100x. don't judge me, it's completely captivating.

i fell in love with the song even more when i learned how it came into existence. sheeran cowrote it with an old friend who also happens to be a singer-songwriter, amy wadge. he was at her house to hang out and in a weird way she asked to write a song together to put on his album so she could pay off some of her debt. 

she played a few chords and within 20 minutes thinking out loud was born. wadge and sheeran had been talking about "everlasting love" and his girlfriend at the time. sheeran recorded a demo version on his phone and sent it to his producer saying he wanted to add it to the album even though "x" was basically complete. he did a proper recording shortly thereafter and it will forever be track 11 on the record. i'm certainly not mad about that decision. and i think it's pretty safe to say that she was able to pay off her debts and live for a few months off the royalties of thinking out loud. 

what i'm really saying is, we're all winners here. 

xo

chris martin, jon foreman, and dave grohl.

i was going to write a blog about the super bowl halftime show and how i actually thought chris martin did a great job despite that everyone else on the internet thought he sucked. but now the halftime show is 48 hours old and no one cares anymore.

then i thought about writing a blog about jon foreman's ted talk and how i'm pretty sure he was born to be inspirational but i figured everyone has heard me talk about jon foreman enough. but i'm still posting a link to it! you can watch it here.

and then i stumbled on this interview with dave grohl.

gonna forewarn you, he drops the F-bomb a couple times

i had a friend in high school who loved dave grohl. i didn't really get the appeal then but i totally see it now. the dude is cool. he's been in some iconic bands and is loved by millions of fans and has the respect of other artists but it doesn't seem like it's gone to his head. like he would be willing to grab-a-latte-and-chat-about-life-with-just-about-anyone-cool. 

he's specifically speaking about musicians in this piece of the interview but the lesson applies to all artists. when you create something it will be what you create it to be and you can't compare it to what it may be if someone else created it. there is always someone who will be better; a better singer, a better painter, a better dancer, a better performer, but you shouldn't let that stop you. you may not be the best but you are the only one who can create like you do and that alone may impact someone in a deeper way than you may ever know. artists are more critical of themselves than an outsider could ever be. i like to think grohl thought of theodore roosevelt's famous quote, comparison is the thief of joy, when he gave this interview. 

maybe you watched that interview and didn't get anything out of it, that's fine, you're probably not an insecure artist. then i challenge to you to encourage your artist friends who are struggling with not being the best at their craft, they need it. 

xo

vulnerability lessons with cs lewis.

to love at all is to be vulnerable.

love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.

if you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one,

not even an animal.

wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;

avoid all entanglements.

lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change.

it will not be broken;

it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

to love is to be vulnerable. 

-cs lewis

vulnerability is probably my least favorite word in the english language. i love it when other people are vulnerable in life, in art. but me being vulnerable is a no. the thought of exposing my feelings and allowing the opportunity for someone else to hurt me builds my walls up higher and faster than you can count to 10. 

i can talk ad nauseum about my love of songs or love of traveling or love of jon foreman but start asking those personal questions about love and life and i become a master at changing the subject or flipping it around to your story. because talking about you is way easier (and safer) than talking about me. i have an arsenal of questions in my back pocket ready for awkward situations and any time someone tries to dig too deep.

i've always been fiercely independent, out to prove that i could make it on my own, that i didn't need the help of anyone. i had (and still have) passions and dreams that didn't revolve around being married and/or having kids. i still 100% want to live on a tour bus full time. i still want to travel to parts of the world i'm currently just dreaming about. i still want to learn how to longboard and surf and take incredible photographs and speak a foreign language. i still want to do something that makes an impact for the Kingdom.

but there's a steadily growing part in my heart that wants to find a fella who loves me for me...and i love him because he's a handsome rock star (and that's my brain saying "you're being too open, make a joke to make it seem less personal and true!"). with four nephews being added to my family in the past year (reminder: i only have 2 siblings...yeah, that's some special math) i can't help but think of babies and how'd i'd be a kick-butt mom. people can make all the jokes they want about 30 year old girls only thinking about babies but i'm pretty sure we're designed that way.

and while i say all of these things all the time ("i just want to marry a rock star, adopt babies, and live on the road.") it is slightly terrifying to me that it hasn't happened and it might not look how i want it to look and to get to that point i have to be willing to be allowed to be hurt. ugh.

so this is my small step towards being vulnerable. i can't make the leap to be honest about my feelings about that one guy or be okay with crying in front of other people and internet vulnerability barely counts (hiding behind a keyboard is literally one of the most cliched things of our generation) but this is the most exposed i can allow my heart to be without wanting to dive into my bed and stay there for days. you understand, right?

xo

using celebrity and creativity for awareness.

i had never heard of apert syndrome before lights posted a picture of her niece, fern, on instagram a year and a half ago. it's a chromosomal anomaly where bones grow at different rates and cause different physical abnormalities like fused fingers and toes and a distorted skull shape. she posted this picture holding her, saying she knows life will be harder for her because of her syndrome. 

she also went on to say that it was a wake up call for all the times she had judged someone because of the way they look. she encouraged her followers to "check yourself" the next time you find yourself judging someone based on their appearance. 

a few weeks later she posted a picture on facebook (yeah, i'm a huge creep and follow her on multiple social media sites, she's great, shut up) holding baby fern right after the little girl had finger reconstruction surgery. lights said she would never take her hands for granted again. 

then just today lights posted a link to a free download to a book she created for her niece saying: 

over the holidays i made my little toddler niece, fern, who was born with rare apert syndrome, a book about a little girl with apert. i wanted her to have some reading material that featured a person with four digit hands, surgery scars, a hearing aid and ortho boots (to name a few of the things she will be raised dealing with) because there are pretty much no books she can relate to on that level. if any little one you know has apert syndrome, pass it on to their fam. download link below to a digital copy (i had one printed through iPhoto and it looks real cute).  -lights

so how is that for her just being a fantastic human being? i'm sure she recognizes that families who have kids with apert are probably stretched financially and may not be able to afford the book so she's just giving it away so those kids don't feel so lonely in a world that can be quite cruel. if you know someone with apert or just want to download the book yourself you can find it here. 

i am going to venture a guess that lights will learn just as much or more from little fern than fern will learn from her aunt lights. 

xo