tacky.

here are some things that bands do onstage that are tacky:

*maybe you're thinking that it's really cocky of me to assume that i know what's tacky and what's not but you know what? i have gone to a lot of concerts, so i'm pretty much a professional.

1. name dropping while pretending like it's nothing. hey up-and-coming band, that's really great that you got to work with stephen christian of anberlin but you don't need to try and impress us with that knowledge. or if you REALLY feel like you have to let us know he was a part of it, say it with a sense of awe and not like it's not a big deal.
2. saying how much it cost to make your album. yes it cost a lot of money, yes people don't pay for music anymore, yes i know it's how you make your living. most people have to invest something into their careers; painters buy brushes, canvases, and paint. cosmetologists buy ridiculously expensive scissors. teachers buy supplies/decorations for their classrooms. truckers buy their own trucks (sometimes). instead of trying to make me feel like i should buy it because you put a lot of money into it, put on an incredible show and make me want to buy it, i probably will. 
3. telling me how hard road life is. having hosted a few bands in my home i have seen first-hand that road life isn't glamorous. most band members miss their loved ones, are sleeping on uncomfortable pull-out beds, and haven't had a shower in a few days. but when you're onstage and i'm in the audience and you complain about how hard your life is, i kinda wanna kick you in the shin because i would give up diet coke (and that's saying something) to hit the road and live in that world. 
4. wearing your own merch. i get it, you wear the shirt, 15 year old in the crowd that wants to be just like you sees you wearing the shirt, they buy said shirt. it makes sense. i just don't like it. how about we get a little cross-promotion going on here and you wear another band's shirt? 
5. giving up. i'm sorry that only a few people made it to the show and the ones that did are giving you nothing back but you throwing in the towel makes me think you are more about the fame than you are the music. at least use this time as a glorified dress-rehearsal, try a new song out on us, sing an old song that you haven't sung in awhile, make the show more personal and intimate. if you are 'there' in that moment, i promise we won't care if you forget the lyrics to the old song or have to start the new song over because you forgot the chord progression...it will probably end up being the highlight of our night. 

if you're in a band and reading this and are a little offended just know, i only say these things because i love you. 

xo