dear guy that seems to be at every show:
- you're tall. i'm short(ish). do the math and then be a gentleman and stand behind me.
- you're wearing WAY too much cologne. tone it down, buddy. though that acqua di gio does smell heavenly.
- i know you can't help that you are sweating, it's hot in here i totally get it, but please try to avoid rubbing your sweaty forearm on my arm/face/back...it's yucky.
- you know that thing that i ragged at the girls about concerning their phones? same thing goes. GET OFF YOUR PHONE.
- with each drink you get more obnoxious. switch to coke and if you feel like that isn't manly enough you can tell everyone it's a rum and coke. you lying seems way less offensive to me than carrying on like a drunk dirtbag.
- that girl across the club that you're hoping will notice you literally hasn't looked at you once. give up the ghost, pal.
- i know the difference between an accidental butt/boob touch and a deliberate one. don't even try it.
- if you came to the show with a girl, please stop touching her. there is no need for neck nuzzling, make-out sessions in the middle of the pit or standing there with a handful of her derriere. (i'm super anti-PDA so maybe i'm the only one who has a problem with this, feel free to ask your neighbors next time you're at a concert.)
xo
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