camp HTC.

did you ever go to camp as a kid?

i LOVED camp. i went for the first time when i was 10. it was a week long and one of the best weeks of my little life. i went to camp every summer and worked at 3 different camps throughout college. it always seemed like a slice of heaven on earth to me.

since it's been ages since i've been to camp and i have a group of friends who are pretty much my ride or dies it was only natural that we take a weekend and go to "camp." i put camp in quotes because it was actually just kicking my parents out of their lake house for a weekend and making our own version of camp. yep, we're 30 year olds who created our own camp because delayed adolescence is a real thing.

we met on friday after work to make the 3 hour trek up to small-town minnesota. 

just six fully grown adults and a wonderdog ready for camp! 

we packed a LOT into less than 48 hours. 

my mom is the cutest- she made this! 

breakfast views. LOVE. 

official camp tank tops...HTC! 

paddleboating...wonder looks calm in the pic but was whining to beat the band.

stand up paddle board races. kenya vs USA.

friendship bracelet making on the back deck. 

sometimes you just gotta take a 20 minute power nap at camp.

horseshoe tournament.

look at that form.

just the camp activity director and her dog.

grilling on the pontoon!

fishing. he literally caught nothing.

pontoon hangs. 

this was actually terrifying. never been a fan of the underdog push.

cheers to a killer weekend!

and we didn't even get pictures of the bonfire, blokus games while catching some of the olympics, the run into town to get the forgotten milk, the pizza picnic lunch, our Sunday morning sermon from our "camp pastor" or the claw game my parents have in their basement that the boys were obsessed with. 

camp is good for the soul.

xo

sweaty together.

holy hannah it's been a hot minute since we've had some screen time, faithful storiesofagirl readers. totes my fault.
i hope your summer has been amazing so far.
it's almost august. WUT?

my summer has been a blur. a very busy blur.
there was one event that took up a good chunk of my time. i worked with my team for the past 14 months to put on an event on the national mall. it was called together 2016. it was a gathering calling a million people to the mall, the only agenda was Jesus.

pretty rad.

i arrived in DC a week before the event to finish getting all of my ducks in a row.
as the week wore on, the temperature climbed higher and higher.
by the time we got to saturday we knew we were in for a scorcher.

the day dawned a sticky 80-something degrees with the promise of reaching triple digits. after a quick breakfast and short team meeting i set off to the far side of washington monument to the volunteer tent, my home for the day.

in a matter of minutes i had volunteers arriving to help. the next four hours went in a blink. there were stressful moments, there were laughs, there was a lot of sweat, and there were a whole lot of people who had turned up to worship Jesus. then things took a bit of a turn. as we were approaching midday there seemed to be a steady stream of people who ended up in the volunteer tent in a vain effort to cool off; sitting by the fans, grabbing ice from the coolers for the back of their necks and looking about one minute away from passing out or throwing up.

now the volunteer tent was quite removed from the main area of the gathering so i was missing out on pretty much everything that was happening on the other side of the monument. i've seen footage and it's incredible. at one point the whole crowd is down on their knees in silence in prayer. another point the mall is shaking in worship. artists and speakers were crying onstage as they felt the holy spirit move.
it.was.insane.

being removed i also missed the fact that people were overwhelming the medical tents onsite. hundreds of people were flocking to the tents in hopes of finding some respite from the intense heat and some cold water before they fainted. the few people i had huddled in the volunteer tent were a fraction of the masses in the other tents. the tent that we had set up for our partners was even opened up for those struggling with the temps as an oasis to cool off.

and then we got the news. they were shutting the event down early. the national parks service said the heat was too much and for safety reasons we were not allowed to continue.

so we shut it down. 5 hours early.
not our plan. not what we wanted. not how the day was supposed to go.
but there was so much beauty in that day it almost didn't matter.

there was a commissioning video shown before people left the mall. it was never about coming to the mall. it was always about going from the mall.

so grateful to be a part of this. 

xo

rooting for you.

oh hey there all you bands trying to make it!
i give you mad props. touring isn't always glamorous (especially if you're rolling 15 passenger van style), it's not easy to make a living as an artist, and i applaud you believing in your art enough to give it an honest-to-goodness try.
while i will give you all the kudos in the world for beating the pavement and wanting it so bad you've given up almost everything to be on that stage, here are a couple of key things to endear me to you as the opening band to the band i came to see (correct me if i'm wrong stories of a girl readers):

• tell me some short stories. assume, as the opener, that no one in the room is overly familiar with your music. i know you want to play as many songs as humanly possible in your 20 minute set but cutting out one song and telling two entertaining stories (maybe one about a song's inspiration and one as a glimpse into your personal life) will go a long way to making me remember you. especially if you're funny. 
• be jazzed about the main act. we are jazzed about them and we want you to love them as much as we love them. and we'll assume that you have great taste in music if you seem excited to be touring with them. because then we clearly have the same taste in music, duh.
• be confident but not cocky. you were asked to open this tour or show...play like you should be there. but don't forget, even if you're fantastic, cockiness is a major turn-off. someone please pass this message along to kanye. 

that's it. it really doesn't take much and i will buy a shirt or album at the end of the show. or at the very least i will spotify you the following day, fall in love with your album, and pay to see you when you roll through town in 4 months on your smaller, headlining tour in the dank bar down the street.
good luck, i really am rooting for you! 

xo

hope for the broken.

as you know, i work for an evangelistic association. due to the events we put on we get to meet a lot of really cool ministries and non-profits who are working to make the world a better place.

one of the ministries i learned of through work and have gotten the pleasure of getting to know it's founder is hope for the broken. 

hope for the broken exists to bring hope into your dark places. everyone struggles with something; maybe for you it's depression or anxiety. maybe it's feeling you aren't good enough. there is Hope and there's a Light that can cut right through that darkness and hope for the broken is shining that light.

meg, the non-profits founder, feels called to be a rescuer of the broken, a bringer of light, after knowing the darkness personally and walking through some tough stuff with those close to her.

one of the ways that hope for the broken raises funds to support their work is through selling some pretty rad pieces of jewelry. i have a lantern of hope in antique brass (they also have it in antique black and antique silver) and it has become one of my favorite pieces to wear! it has a verse on the bottom and is a great reminder that there is a light in our darkness.

my actual necklace. love it. 

added note to any those who are thinking about ordering it:
the lantern is a good weight and size (probably about an inch and a half tall) and the chain it's on is long and thin without being too delicate! it lays really nicely against your chest.

okay, now that you're sold on ordering one for yourself, get it here!

and never fear fellas, there's a necklace for you on the site too, check it.

xo

when you get turned into a meme.

you know how you have those friends that you have been friends with for wayyyyy too long? the ones who know all of the embarrassing stories and have pictures of you during your awkward stages in life?

i have one of those friends.

the other day she found a disgusting old picture of me and got a little creative with it. she did what any good friend would do and turned it into a meme. she took all the tragic stories of my past (all centered around music, of course) and made it into a meme that actually makes me shed tears from laughing. they're hilarious. i look so gross and my life has been beautifully disappointing and i'm beginning to think it's probably better that way. certainly more entertaining, anyway.

as much as i feel like these shouldn't be on the internet for my own personal self-esteem reasons they are just too good to not share. and because i'm too vain to let you think i look like that on a regular basis here's a bit of context to the picture: it was taken one morning days into a music festival after i had just woken up. i was seriously sunburned and puffy, was averaging a handful of hours of sleep each night because i was "camping" in a stuffy astro mini-van, and also sometimes my face just makes that face. if you've read this blog from the beginning, you'll recognize these stories, most of them have gotten their own post.

seriously, i'm dying just looking at them again. and there are more. more stories of my life not turning out how i envisioned it would being paired with what is quite possibly the worst picture of me ever. some day i'll post a round two ;) 

xo

Jesus in the mainstream.

i grew up steeped in the christian music industry. and by that i mean i listened to pretty much only christian music and i loved every minute of it. all my cd's were christian bands and there was a christian radio station (shout out to z100) i could pull in in my bedroom. score.

i still think there are some fantastic christian bands out there still but i have expanded my listening tastes a bit in the past decade and i love discovering songs that are straight-up Jesus music hiding in plain sight. and i'm not even talking the bands that i rave over all the time; switchfoot, needtobreathe, colony house, mat kearney, etc. these are bands and artists who are regular plays on the billboard charts and top 40 radio. 

take a listen and let it feed your soul. 

the fray: be still

tori kelly: hallow

justin bieber: purpose

mumford and sons: awake my soul

selena gomez: nobody

onerepublic: mercy

xo

where the light shines through.

today switchfoot announced the name and release date of their next album. it's album 10 for the san diego boys and it's called where the light shines through and it's releasing on july 8th.

they filled their social media outlets with the news and posted about it on their website. i saw it when i got to work this morning and had to take two minutes to watch the trailer and read the note from jon. i legit got teary-eyed because it's beautiful and i questioned why i watched it while sitting in the middle of the office because i know switchfoot gives me all the feels. if you're feeling like you can handle a good kind of punch to the heart, check it out.

and you can roll your eyes and be all, "sara just really never stops talking about switchfoot and homegirl needs to expand her interests a bit," but i just want to let you know that i'm not the only one who loves them. and it's not even just regular, everyday fangirls...it's other artists who have, in some way or another, expressed their love and appreciation for the band in some way or another.

exhibit a: 

joshua dun from twenty one pilots's instagram. notice that bio line? yeah, switchfoot lyrics from their song where i belong off of vice verses. 

exhibit b: 

colony house's instagram. caption for this photo is switchfoot lyrics from their song gone off of the beautiful letdown. 

exhibit c: 

i realize this is my twitter but did you read it?! i was watching a live stream of will anderson of parachute on facebook and someone wrote in and asked who some of his favorite bands are. his first answer was switchfoot....so obviously i had to tweet about it. also, go follow my twitter, i'm hilarious.

exhibit d: 

okay, i don't actually have proof that this was influenced by switchfoot but the switchfoot vibes are so heavy i'd say it's darn near undeniable that judah & the lion also love the socal boys. 

exhibit e: 

and let's not forget when needtobreathe handpicked switchfoot to be on their very first tour de compadres tour. (i nearly died this night of sheer happiness) 

so just get on this bandwagon already and let's all get really excited for july 8th!

xo

UNITE NDOP.

calling all my Jesus people:

in case you didn't know, this thursday is the national day of prayer!
every year on this day (this day meaning the first thursday of may- ndop is always the first thursday in may) the organization i work for holds an event to bring together the twin cities church (big C in this sense). this year we are expanding to the east coast and will be hosting two prayer and worship events simultaneously!

there will be one here in minneapolis and one in washington, dc. best part, both events are FREE. yep, 100% free. no catch, just come!

minneapolis

mariucci arena on the u of m campus

doors at 6pm, event starts at 7pm

washington, dc

echo theater

doors at 6pm, event starts at 7pm

i'll be at the minneapolis one so if you make it, make sure to say hi! and if you really want to make me love you forever, bring me an iced white mocha, it's going to be a long day for us ;)  

xo

new music ftw.

there have been a ton of incredible concerts that have rolled through town in the past few weeks. 2016 was off to a real sucky start, these shows really helped it turn a corner. should i base my emotions off how much live music i see? no. will i do it anyway? yes. 

and if i'm at a show and there's a shiny, new album out at the merch table you bet your bottom dollar i'm getting it. seeing music happen and then getting to walk out the doors with that music physically in my hands is my love language. 

if you've done the math in this post you'll realize i've added a few new records to my collection in the past few weeks. and because i know you are dying to know, here is my current favorite song off of each of those releases. 

parachute- wide awake

fave song: "what breaks my heart"

judah & the lion- folk hop n roll

fave song: "take it all back"

mutemath- vitals

fave song: "light up"

the rocket summer- zoetic

fave song: "cold war"

xo

warm weather to-do list.

i started a post on sunday night.
i never finished it.
it sat completely unedited, just the seven short lines i had typed up for three full days before i finally came back to it today. i realized it was trash and started over with what you're reading right now.

no promises that this will be good either but at least it doesn't feel like a leftover thought (which that previous post definitely did to me).

we turned a proverbial corner today with the weather (it's ridiculously beautiful outside) so i feel a summer 2016 bucket list is in order!

here goes: 

• organize 5,000 volunteers for Together 2016 
• see a band/artist live that i've never seen before
• spend a day at the state fair
• visit a new coffee shop in my city
• stand-up paddleboard
• camp hot tub club with my pals
• have at least one bonfire
• go on at least two bike/longboard rides a week
• eat on a patio. or fifty.
• fro-yo and/or gelato
• watch at least two movies in the park
• drive somewhere nature-y and go hiking
• go to a friend's wedding
• see fireworks
• visit the farmer's market

what am i forgetting? 

xo

tour de compadres 2016

needtobreathe is back with a second round of tour de compadres (and i'm seriously hoping this turns into a yearly tour for them...they are friends with all of my favorites it seems...)!

i know that it's bad to just assume that the tour will be rolling through my town but i always do and i have yet to be disappointed so i'm just going to keep on making assumptions.

anyway, it was announced late last week that the 2016 tour de compadres crew will be landing in my state on oct. 27th! granted, this time they are gonna be in st. paul as opposed to my beloved minneapolis but i suppose i can make the 12 mile trek to my sister city to see this incredible goodness.

needtobreathe also announced that they are releasing a new album this summer AND released two new singles! be still my little-needtobreathe-loving-heart. listen to their singles here. 

2016 is really starting to shape up. 

xo

life advice with maya.

call your mom and tell her you love her.

reach out to an old friend to reconnect. 

smile at a stranger on the street because you can.

thank your boss for their example of leadership (even if it's just an example of what not to do).

send a note in the mail to a loved one, it shows you were thinking about them. 

remember details about the acquaintances in your daily life (barista, mailman, bus driver, etc) because they see you more than some of your friends.

compliment a coworker on their outfit or new haircut, it will make their day. 

pray with/for someone. 

be the person that makes others feel valuable because it's too easy to remember the people who make you feel awful. 

xo

a dare to you if you read this blog.

i LOVE it when people ask me for music recommendations.
it makes me feel like they trust me.
like they would allow me to watch their newborn or drive their car across state lines or have a conversation with their mom and not spill any of their secrets kind of trust.
it also makes me feel like they think i have good taste in music and, let's be honest, i do.

i'm running into a bit of a problem, however...i'm getting slim on bands/artists to recommend! i have a couple people at work who ask often and i only like to recommend bands that i actually like and listen to.

so i'm asking you to help a girl out. comment with some of your favorite bands or artists you've recently gotten into! let's call this a dare. i dare you to tell me your favorites (because few people can resist a dare). i'll spotify the crap out of them and then pass them along to my coworkers and friends who ask what they should be listening to!

bonus points if it's an on-the-rise artist so we can all say we listened to them before they were famous.

xo

throwback thursday: favorite men edition

in the spirit of thursday, okay it's wednesday here but it's thursday somewhere in the world and by the time majority of you read it it will be thursday, we're going on a trip down memory lane.

we're gonna take a look at some of my favorite men; what they looked like the year i fell in love with them and what they look like now. i don't know about you, but i'm excited about this.

phil joel. my 12 year old self couldn't get enough of that hair.

1998 phil joel

2016 phil joel 

bear rinehart. saw them live before i knew their stuff and was done for.

2009 bear rinehart

2016 bear rinehart

mat kearney. took me a decade to see him live but it was love from the first album.

2004 mat kearney

2016 mat kearney

jon foreman. yeah, like he wouldn't be on this list.

1998 jon foreman

2016 jon foreman

will anderson. everyone loved she is love. 

2009 will anderson

2016 will anderson

and just for funsies: my choice concert attire

2006 sara

2016 sara

i think time has been kind to all of us. 

happy st.paddy's day friends!

xo

without you.

as far as records go 2016 is shaping up to be a banger year.

there have already been multiple releases that i'm listening to on the reg (if you hate that turn of phrase you can blame my roommate, i hated it too until she said it all the time and it somehow worked its way into my vernacular) and there's another album coming out this friday that i am stoked on.

there's something about the way will anderson writes that just hits me in all the feels. he's a champ at writing pop songs and there's always at least one song on every record that i can seriously relate to. from the singles they've released off wide awake so far that song has already shown it's little head. 

without you is basically about how you can instantly fall in love with someone you don't even know. I DO THIS ALL THE TIME. i'm not sure about you but i can see a guy that i find attractive and immediately have our entire life planned...right down to our tour bus color and the names of our adopted children. and if i had any balls at all, i would at least walk up to one of them and say hello. but i don't, i just plan our fake communal existence from afar. 

so all of that to say, i can't wait to hear the rest of the album and i've got my tickets to their show next month because maybe i'll grow a pair before then and screw up the courage to find a fella at the show (we all know i'm talking about will here). 

xo

a lesson hard learned. twice.

tonight i sit on my couch one very sad girl.

see, i was supposed to be at a show. the show was kaleo (an icelandic band) and firekid (a band i've gotten into within the last few months and the one i was really stoked on).

why am i not there?

because the show frickin' sold out and i didn't have tickets.

why didn't i have tickets? because i assumed i would be able to get tickets at the door. to be fair (to myself and show that i'm not completely lazy) i did try to get tickets at the box office like a month ago but when i stopped they said they were only doing pre-sale tickets online.

i figured everyone hates ticketmaster and their ridiculous fees as much as i do and we would all just know to buy tickets at the door to avoid being charged double and have all that extra cash going into the pockets of a ticketing company instead of into the pockets of the band or venue.

well no one else went along with my plan and everyone else got their tickets online and when i showed up at the venue tonight there was a sign on the door that said "sold out. seriously." and i had to walk away all sad and dejected.

the worst part is that this is not the first time this has happened to me. even worse, that's not the first time this has happened to me this year. as in 2016. as in the past two months.

so i made a pact with my roommate (who goes to virtually every show i go to) that i am never buying tickets at the door again. we will get tickets at the box office for any show we want to go to and if we can't get them at the box office we will bite the bullet and pay the absurd fees and actually get to see the show...because if 2016 doesn't start turning around i won't need a costume come halloween, i will have turned into an actual crab. because i'll be super crabby. get it? give it to me, i'm sad.

xo

graffiti dreams

judah & the lion are releasing a new album this week. on friday. it's their sophomore LP and it's called folk hop n roll and i have big expectations for these fellas. i've been a fan since the first time i heard their sweet tennessee EP. like fan to the point where i leveraged a way to interview them when they came to town and managed to get one of their numbers. like we were almost actual friends. almost.

just yesterday they released a preview of a song of their new album, graffiti dreams, on a website called consequence of sound. it's different than anything they've done before and i'm as hooked as the fish on their album cover. okay, that fish isn't actually hooked but i'm guessing it was at one point to end up in that halved predicament. 

my roommate didn't like it. we actually had words about. we agreed to disagree and just focus on the fact that we both love them as a band. our apartment is small, it can't handle that sort of tension. 

listen to it and tell me what you think! 

xo

milestones and sexy jams.

my friends and i recently celebrated a pretty big milestone.

we've worked at it for months.
we've put time, money, and sweat into it.
we've gained some and lost some along the way.

we hit our one year anniversary of hot tub club.

that's right, we've officially been a club for one year! 12 months of hanging out, eating snacks, playing games, and making people question what type of friends we are when we say we're in a thing called hot tub club. the married couple in the group had their baby! our favorite redhead moved to taiwan! 3 of us in the group have gotten new jobs! 1 of the guys got a promotion! we've had a lot of change and done a lot of life in the last year and we've had the privilege of living it together.

we had our anniversary celebration over valentine's day weekend complete with more food than you can shake a stick at, some festive love-y decorations, and a pretty killer playlist if i do say so myself. i say it because i made the playlist and my roommate named it sara's sexy hot tub jams. i recommend listening to it the next time you need a quality pick-me-up...just make sure if you're in your office you listen to it with headphones on, there may be track or two or three that aren't exactly suitable for work.

and a party wouldn't be complete without some poorly shot group photos!

1 year of hot tub friendship! love these beautiful souls. 

because who doesn't want to see geoff's hairy, wet legs on display? 

we may not be the coolest but we have some of the best fun.

xo

story behind the song: thinking out loud

i was pretty disappointed with the grammys this year overall...i thought majority of the performances were boring and/or bad and went on way too long, i didn't really get any of the tributes, and seemingly everything that everyone on the internet was freaking out about, i was like, meh. it was kinda a bust in my personal opinion. i wasn't even head over heels for or completely disgusted by any of the fashion choices which is always something i love to nitpick.

one part i was super stoked about, though, was ed sheeran winning song of the year for thinking out loud. i've loved the song from first listen and i've watched the music video no less than 100x. don't judge me, it's completely captivating.

i fell in love with the song even more when i learned how it came into existence. sheeran cowrote it with an old friend who also happens to be a singer-songwriter, amy wadge. he was at her house to hang out and in a weird way she asked to write a song together to put on his album so she could pay off some of her debt. 

she played a few chords and within 20 minutes thinking out loud was born. wadge and sheeran had been talking about "everlasting love" and his girlfriend at the time. sheeran recorded a demo version on his phone and sent it to his producer saying he wanted to add it to the album even though "x" was basically complete. he did a proper recording shortly thereafter and it will forever be track 11 on the record. i'm certainly not mad about that decision. and i think it's pretty safe to say that she was able to pay off her debts and live for a few months off the royalties of thinking out loud. 

what i'm really saying is, we're all winners here. 

xo

chris martin, jon foreman, and dave grohl.

i was going to write a blog about the super bowl halftime show and how i actually thought chris martin did a great job despite that everyone else on the internet thought he sucked. but now the halftime show is 48 hours old and no one cares anymore.

then i thought about writing a blog about jon foreman's ted talk and how i'm pretty sure he was born to be inspirational but i figured everyone has heard me talk about jon foreman enough. but i'm still posting a link to it! you can watch it here.

and then i stumbled on this interview with dave grohl.

gonna forewarn you, he drops the F-bomb a couple times

i had a friend in high school who loved dave grohl. i didn't really get the appeal then but i totally see it now. the dude is cool. he's been in some iconic bands and is loved by millions of fans and has the respect of other artists but it doesn't seem like it's gone to his head. like he would be willing to grab-a-latte-and-chat-about-life-with-just-about-anyone-cool. 

he's specifically speaking about musicians in this piece of the interview but the lesson applies to all artists. when you create something it will be what you create it to be and you can't compare it to what it may be if someone else created it. there is always someone who will be better; a better singer, a better painter, a better dancer, a better performer, but you shouldn't let that stop you. you may not be the best but you are the only one who can create like you do and that alone may impact someone in a deeper way than you may ever know. artists are more critical of themselves than an outsider could ever be. i like to think grohl thought of theodore roosevelt's famous quote, comparison is the thief of joy, when he gave this interview. 

maybe you watched that interview and didn't get anything out of it, that's fine, you're probably not an insecure artist. then i challenge to you to encourage your artist friends who are struggling with not being the best at their craft, they need it. 

xo

vulnerability lessons with cs lewis.

to love at all is to be vulnerable.

love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.

if you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one,

not even an animal.

wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;

avoid all entanglements.

lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change.

it will not be broken;

it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

to love is to be vulnerable. 

-cs lewis

vulnerability is probably my least favorite word in the english language. i love it when other people are vulnerable in life, in art. but me being vulnerable is a no. the thought of exposing my feelings and allowing the opportunity for someone else to hurt me builds my walls up higher and faster than you can count to 10. 

i can talk ad nauseum about my love of songs or love of traveling or love of jon foreman but start asking those personal questions about love and life and i become a master at changing the subject or flipping it around to your story. because talking about you is way easier (and safer) than talking about me. i have an arsenal of questions in my back pocket ready for awkward situations and any time someone tries to dig too deep.

i've always been fiercely independent, out to prove that i could make it on my own, that i didn't need the help of anyone. i had (and still have) passions and dreams that didn't revolve around being married and/or having kids. i still 100% want to live on a tour bus full time. i still want to travel to parts of the world i'm currently just dreaming about. i still want to learn how to longboard and surf and take incredible photographs and speak a foreign language. i still want to do something that makes an impact for the Kingdom.

but there's a steadily growing part in my heart that wants to find a fella who loves me for me...and i love him because he's a handsome rock star (and that's my brain saying "you're being too open, make a joke to make it seem less personal and true!"). with four nephews being added to my family in the past year (reminder: i only have 2 siblings...yeah, that's some special math) i can't help but think of babies and how'd i'd be a kick-butt mom. people can make all the jokes they want about 30 year old girls only thinking about babies but i'm pretty sure we're designed that way.

and while i say all of these things all the time ("i just want to marry a rock star, adopt babies, and live on the road.") it is slightly terrifying to me that it hasn't happened and it might not look how i want it to look and to get to that point i have to be willing to be allowed to be hurt. ugh.

so this is my small step towards being vulnerable. i can't make the leap to be honest about my feelings about that one guy or be okay with crying in front of other people and internet vulnerability barely counts (hiding behind a keyboard is literally one of the most cliched things of our generation) but this is the most exposed i can allow my heart to be without wanting to dive into my bed and stay there for days. you understand, right?

xo

using celebrity and creativity for awareness.

i had never heard of apert syndrome before lights posted a picture of her niece, fern, on instagram a year and a half ago. it's a chromosomal anomaly where bones grow at different rates and cause different physical abnormalities like fused fingers and toes and a distorted skull shape. she posted this picture holding her, saying she knows life will be harder for her because of her syndrome. 

she also went on to say that it was a wake up call for all the times she had judged someone because of the way they look. she encouraged her followers to "check yourself" the next time you find yourself judging someone based on their appearance. 

a few weeks later she posted a picture on facebook (yeah, i'm a huge creep and follow her on multiple social media sites, she's great, shut up) holding baby fern right after the little girl had finger reconstruction surgery. lights said she would never take her hands for granted again. 

then just today lights posted a link to a free download to a book she created for her niece saying: 

over the holidays i made my little toddler niece, fern, who was born with rare apert syndrome, a book about a little girl with apert. i wanted her to have some reading material that featured a person with four digit hands, surgery scars, a hearing aid and ortho boots (to name a few of the things she will be raised dealing with) because there are pretty much no books she can relate to on that level. if any little one you know has apert syndrome, pass it on to their fam. download link below to a digital copy (i had one printed through iPhoto and it looks real cute).  -lights

so how is that for her just being a fantastic human being? i'm sure she recognizes that families who have kids with apert are probably stretched financially and may not be able to afford the book so she's just giving it away so those kids don't feel so lonely in a world that can be quite cruel. if you know someone with apert or just want to download the book yourself you can find it here. 

i am going to venture a guess that lights will learn just as much or more from little fern than fern will learn from her aunt lights. 

xo